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How to Defend Yourself from an Abusive Boss: The Formal Complaint Process
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Boss makes me feel lower than low!!
Posted by: vinah
Date: 1/16/2006 9:55:05 PM
My boss is the rudest person i've ever met, he's mean and inconsiderate to everyone around him. I've been bullied since I was in kindergarten, and everywhere i go i just seem to get bullied all the time, and i thought on a job it wouldn't be a more harsh bullying, but i was wrong. He makes you feel stupid, he's unreliable, and i think it has something to do with that fact that he himself isn't really all that popular, like in school, he's younger than me, but is treating me wrong. He corrects me over the stupidest things and even though you tell him nicely that you don't appreciated being corrected over something like that he doesn't listen and basically tries to force the information on you. It's just wrong. He bad mouths customers just after they leave. I"m starting to lose it, i haven't been able to keep a job, because of circumstances, i mean i love this job, but this boss is killing my spirit.
| Reply from: |
waterlily_07 |
| Date: |
1/22/2006 6:01:00 PM |
| Reply: |
No one has the right to kill your spirit. Evaluate your options here. Is the job worth the lost nights of sleep, the anxiety, and the overall depletion of self-esteem? Of course not. Have you tried talking with your boss about it? You mentioned that you told him that you didn't appreciate him correcting you all the time. If you feel comfortable with talking to him about such issues, just tell him in a appropriate manner that his behavior is making it difficult for you to do your job, and if it dosen't cease you will look for another job. From your description, he sounds like an obnoxious boss, and he may not respond in the manner that you want anyway. If that's the case, it's best that you find a different job that works for you. In the mean time, I would work on building your confidence and self-esteem up to help yourself out when dealing with the dicks of the world. It wouldn't hurt to go online and talk to a professional about confidence, self-esteem, and assertivness. I have already been where you are. Take one day at a time. Remember this, It's harder to do good than it is to do bad. Follow the right path and I'm sure things will go your way. |
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| Reply from: |
1/2way2dignity |
| Date: |
2/6/2006 11:50:00 PM |
| Reply: |
There are so many bosses out there who destroy ones dignity and self confidence. They tend to pick on the most compitent of people because they think of you as a threat. Try to hang in there, and document everything. I would also take the fact that he bad mouths clients after they leave to his superior, after all, the clients are the ones who pay your wages, right? |
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| Reply from: |
watevr1 |
| Date: |
2/10/2006 8:37:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I understand your problem. I used to be the shyest girl in my class, but in the last five or six years, I've come out of my shell. The problem I've had after coming out of my shell is that I now tend to speak up when someone mis-treats me, but you have to know your boundaries. I made the mistake of telling a woman boss off at one job and she tried to get me fired and when that didn't work, she convinced management to decrease my hourly pay. I'm already a single mom and that hurt the old pocket. I ended up leaving that job for another, but it seems like the "bad boss" is becoming more common now. I suggest the same as that other person responding...get some therapy, boost that confidence and maybe buy a self-help book like "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" that deals with on-the-job stuff. I'm still dealing with women who think they can push me around and being a woman now with some confidence, I think, threatens them even more. I am very straight-forward with most people, except for "the bullying boss". |
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