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How to Survive and Get Ahead When Your Boss is A Tyrant, Control Freak, or Just Plain Nuts!
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Micomanaging
Posted by: Jmo
Date: 4/17/2006 10:07:19 AM
It's just my boss and I in the distribution center and he's driving me crazy. It's to a point now that whenever i come into work on monday I start to panic and I can't breath. Even though I've been here for 3 years he treats every day like it's my first day here. Constantly reminding me of my daily tasks or doing my job for me. He has this need for authority over me. Treating me like I'm his 5 year old daughter. Granted he is old enough to be me father but I think he needs to treat me like an adult. He won't let me do anything. He's always telling me what my limits are. Like when I needed to lift a monitor. I wrapped them up and ship them all the time. He insists on lifting them for me no matter what I say. He says "Oh that's too heavy for you. You can't lift that" Always trying to tell me what's best for me too. He isn't too smart either. That's one thing that everyone in the office has noticed. But he thinks he knows everything. He acts like he knows me better than I know myself. I've started to avoid doing certain tasks around the office because I don't want him breathing down my neck with his disgusting coffee/cigarette breath. He doesn't even swear around me. He says "Excuse my language, but this sucks" Again treating me like I'm 5. He's also a pathological liar. I feel I can't say anything because even though he does all this he's still nice. He is not aware that he drives me crazy. I want to leave so bad. What should I do?
| Reply from: |
matrona |
| Date: |
4/18/2006 11:15:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I could be totally off here, but it sounds to me that he may actually respect you and feel that he is helping to make your day easier by assisting you with the 'heavier' tasks. If he is not all that bright, he probably doesn't have the skills to work with you on an emotionally mature level. We don't all get the right 'tools' in our lifetimes.
As far as reminding you of all of your daily tasks, there are days that I repeat myself 2 or 3 times to my employees. Not because I think they are stupid and didn't get it the first time, but because I need to be sure that I am on the right page and that what I'm saying is exactly what I mean. It took my folks 4 months to approach me about how they felt and for me to understand that my need for personal understanding was frustrating them. Once the explained their feelings, I was able to describe my process and that what I was doing really had little to do with them - and I thanked them for their honesty and their support.
Perhaps, if you can find a way to say "Thank You" and "I appreciate your help" at the times when he is most making you crazy, you may find more patience and comapassion for a man who just hasn't figured out a professional way to say that he likes having you as a co-worker. If you really like your job, isn't it worth a try? |
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| Reply from: |
Jmo |
| Date: |
4/19/2006 8:56:00 AM |
| Reply: |
I understand what you're saying. He does respect me but not as an adult. He thinks of me as this weak helpless little girl that can't do anything. I understand he's just trying to help but it just drives me crazy that he thinks I can't do anything for myself. I don't ask for his help, he just assumes. He's a control freak. I have tried to talk to him about this but he is in total denial that he does these things. You could tell him the grass is green and the sky was blue but he would fight to the death that is was the other way around. He's stubborn. Always right and never wrong and he knows everything and has done everything. He's like the one upper from that beer commercial. You've done it, he's done it 3 times. I know he makes this stuff up though. Someone was talking about how they were taking massage classes and he said Oh I'm a registered massage therapist. Someone says their kid is taking karate lessons. He says Oh I'm a black belt. My hands are registered at weapons. I have no respect for this man. And I'm sick of him. I'm trying so hard to get out of this job. Did I mention that he picks his nose and then touches everything. He never covers his mouth when he coughes either. I can't even begin to count how many times he's coughed on me or in my food or in my tea. There are just so many things wrong with that man. |
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| Reply from: |
Betty |
| Date: |
5/1/2006 10:27:00 PM |
| Reply: |
One thing I've noticed consistently in people who like to give advice: They are insecure and don't have much life experience. If I may make a guess, I think your boss's attitude reflects not on you, but on himself. He's trying to convince HIMSELF of how much he knows.
But, that doesn't make it any less annoying. Just for kicks, have you tried answering his advice with wide-eyed "Oh, is THAT how you do that? Will you do that again? Will you pick that up over there?" With any luck, he'll throw his back out before he notices that you're being sarcastic. (Sorry if this isn't helpful -- advice so rarely is!!) I wish you luck. |
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| Reply from: |
Polly |
| Date: |
5/7/2006 6:45:00 PM |
| Reply: |
A little useful trick I noticed is to repeat the annoying stuff back to them in a form of question.
Like if they are reminding of you the same simple task over and over, say something like, "are you going to remind how to every day?" Once attention is drawn to their behavior that way, they seem to back off a bit.
Works really well with unreasonable requests and statements made by your boss too.
Just know what your goal is and do stuff that to achieve that goal. Its not advisable to inflame a situation by getting angry if your goal is to work peacefully and harmonously with an individual. Plus they can use it against you later on to make you look bad (harassers are great at that).
I wish companies would realize how much time and effort gets sucked from an employee's job simply to deal with other high maintenance employees. |
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| Reply from: |
buddy |
| Date: |
7/4/2006 2:40:00 PM |
| Reply: |
micromanaging, huh? yep, been there, dealt with that. and still doing it, although--let's see now, i have been in the same job for 20-plus years, love what i do (i am a journalist) and yet have to put up with much less experienced and knowledagble "managers" who feel that they absolutely must micromanage every other thing I do. or be around when I am trying to get things done and contribute absolutely nothing but being in the way. my boss can be the same way. i yearn for him to just trust that my many years of experience and doing my job (practically do it in my "sleep" sometimes) will be sufficient enough to get things done in the right way. I sometimes believe that CEOs, bosses, managers or whatever title you want to use have this incessant need to offer something about an area of expertise they absolutely know nothing about or have never experienced "in the trenches" with regular employees. it boggles my time sometimes. |
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