How to work effectively with a difficult boss

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    Who is the crazy on here???

    Posted by: rmj
    Date: 4/23/2006 12:39:04 PM

    Ok, this is what's been going on. I was promoted to mgr a year ago, but my boss did not make the necessary changes to have anyone report directly to me. He told me I only manage the projects, not the people. So, of course, I have to manage the people on these projects and on day to day tasks, have talked repeatedly to him requesting that this be changed. The staff is confused, I can't accomplish my goal of managing/supervising, and now I was even downgraded for that fact on my annual review!!!

    Also, my boss has told me that I need to lower my standards and expectations. He knowingly hired C players in the department, but criticises me for the staff I hired. Of course he didn't even bother to interview them, and neither did HR...but he acts as if I am at fault. I know that there are behind the scenes comments made about me as he is so passive aggessive and does not comment to me directly, but he does not even have me interview staff level employees now, I believe as a result of some crazed HR rep who is on final notice and the entire company thinks is crazy as well, but alas, she is still there.

    My boss constantly complains about the staff, but when I do, I am too critical, etc. From one day to the next I have no idea where things stand b/c he constantly changes his mind. One minute no one is promotable, the next day, he's asking me whether I think that someone is promotable, that everyone knows is a C player and just does not get it. It makes me totally crazy when he says, well will so and so become a Director, no...NO KIDDING they won't if they can't even move to the next level!!

    Someone help me!

    Oh and he put other crazy things on my reivew, like you need to refrain from using the phrase, I don't know as filler at the end of a sentence. This is a man that uses so many prepositional phrases, such as to that extent, in that regard, etc. that it makes you dizzy.

    He also tells me to take on a project and use the staff, but then he directs the staff and they go to him and vice versa throughout the enitre project, so how am I to even know what is said or what is going on. He totally exhausts me.

    Last week he screamed at me and I could visibly see even before he screamed at me that he was having a hard time controlling himself because of his facial expression and his hands were shaking.

    He's also told me that he hates his job and does not want to be there at all. What I want to say, is well leave then!!!!



    Reply from: brn
    Date: 4/26/2006 11:45:00 PM
    Reply: Sounds like my boss. She wants to have a crew of experts but won't allow me to do anything. When the things I could have made function smoothly go wrong I am there to answer for it, but . . . well it's like when you're a kid on the playground and you just want to swing too. She's having way too much fun playing her game of boss to let anyone else have a ride. Power trips are fun, I geuss. Or make her feel secure.

    Reply from: buddy
    Date: 6/29/2006 9:22:00 PM
    Reply: I can identify partly with what you're talking about. "Experts", huh? Yep, sounds familiar. I love my job tremendously, but 99percent of the time it's because I am hell-bent to make it work and use the approach of "making others' life better and more positive" as the chief incentive. But I have to use all of the willpower and patience in the world from reaching the five-star anger mode when my boss "delegates" something to a manager above me in title who absolutely has no clue sometimes of what's going on. And yet when things go wrong, guess who the boss or that "manager" suddenly critique harshly or criticize? Yep, me. Making it even worse is that I work at a very small place. Maybe 30 employees max. My boss' office and mine are maybe 10 steps from each other, max. We've also worked together for 20-plus years, both at one time being so-called equal in pay and "status" before he was promoted. Yet when he wants to tell me things, he will go through that "manager", who walks maybe 10 steps over to my desk and tell me. And my inner voice just wants to yell out at the boss and say, "why in the heck can't you just walk down the hall and tell me the same thing." if i was new on the job and hadn't been around this job as long as I have, then I can see a reason for doing it in this way. but i can very direct and outspoken on things at time, probably given the belief that I have confidence in what I can do, and I feel that my boss feels that he can keep me much "calmer" by going through an intermediary. Extremely frustating. And very hurtful, given that he and I have known and worked with each other for so long. I see it as being very pompous on his part. Any thoughts on that?

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