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What Your Boss Doesn't Tell You Until It's Too Late: How to Correct Behavior That Is Holding You Back

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Advice for Targets

Posted by: matildagsd
Date: 3/5/2009 2:03:31 PM

"AS a target, it is your own responsibility to make some lifestyle changes. You are not to blame for being targeted by the bully. However, the bully's impact on you is magnified by a couple of your own positive, personal traits. Limit your emotional investment in your job to the level the company reciprocates. Your self-identity depends on a lot more than a job. Curb your perfectionism that leads to unmet expectations and triggers righteous indignation. Establish more rigid personal psychological boundaries so that outsiders who inflict harm cannot get inside your head to redefine you as someone you are not. (Bullies lie to targets to convince them they are incompetent.) They have no business inside your head or influencing your friends. Tell people with destructive opinions of you to keep quiet. Reserve personal space for your trusted intimates; don't let in jerks at work."

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