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Not getting enough positive feedback

Posted by: buddy
Date: 6/29/2006 9:13:46 PM

I've been in the same job for 20-plus years and absolutely love what I do. I've "survived" at a workplace which is beset with a huge turnover, one employee after another coming through and rarely lasting very long. At our job, it merits special attention if you've been there at least 10 years. I've made it this long because I like what I do, put up with periodic B.S. intermittent morale, etc. and hang in simply because I feel that giving back to others and the community far outweighs any ill feeling I might have towards my boss.

But I do get into some very trying moods that stem from believing that, because i've been there so long, I have come to be taken for granted and can very seldom--if at all, have a face-to-face talk with my boss about certain things. And I'm talking about a boss who I have known first as a fellow employee before he moved up in ranks. We used to even go out for lunch a lot. Then over the course of the years, that changed, I am assuming because he had to "officially" be the boss in both name and title.

A couple of things intermittently nick away at me and I will get down in the dumps, the foremost thing being that I have never felt I could go into my boss' office and simply "air things out." In other words, drop the formalities of him being the boss and me being the employee. I figure that 20-plus years of being in the same workplace as he should at least provide that atmosphere. But it never has. And because it hasn't, I too often work with an extremely frustrated feeling. Even anger at times because I feel that, as former "friends" and fellow coworkers, he should grant me that type of give-and-take feedback. At times, I have stated my view on things very directly. The result is that he sees this approach as being "way out of line", to the point where I have always left feeling that there is no way I can totally express how I feel. I let the frustration get to me and have just flat out given up even sometimes requesting a discussion of things and how they might should be approached and done better.

Adding to my frustration is that on this very job I am in, there are no more than 30 employees. I am the head of my department, yet when my boss wants to relay something that needs to be done in my work area, he will do it through a "manager". My office and the boss' office is no more than 10 steps away. Add that to the fact that he and I have worked together for 20-plus years and it boggles my mind that he can't just walk over and tell me. Or when he walks past the desk. Is relaying the message through another manager a sign of "power" or what? I dont' understand that at all.

Lastly, seldom are there any positive feedbacks on what we do. Negative, yes, or when things go wrong. That always happen. But very little positive feedback.

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