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Managing Upward: Strategies for Succeeding With Your Boss
Crazy Bosses: Spotting Them, Serving Them, Surviving Them
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
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my boss is manic depressive, obsessive compulsive, stresed, panicked, and doesn't know how to communicate properly
Posted by: becky
Date: 9/14/2006 1:30:18 PM
I am currently working at a coffee shop until I pass my CBEST test to start substitue teaching. I love my job because it is a bike ride away, the hours are great, the pay gets me by, and I get off before the sun goes down. The problem is that the owner has various psychological problems and he uses me to deal with those problems. Because he is manic depressive, obsessive compulsive, stressed, panicked and does not know how to communicate properly, he has no friends. His life revolves around the coffee shop and that is the only place he has any human contact. He drives customers away because he is rude to some and to others he endlessly talks about the things that bother him. He follows me around and corrects every little mistake while at the same time telling me about how much his life sucks and how stupid everyone is. He gets mad and snaps at me. He stands so close to me that he is constantly stepping on my toes. In the middle of making a drink, he will take the cup out of my hand and finish making it. Yesterday I called him out on it and he told me that it's because I never do anything right, as he threw a muffin on the counter to show that I had not wrapped it correctly. I feel his horrible energy everytime I walk in the shop. Any suggestions?
| Reply from: |
faith |
| Date: |
9/15/2006 11:48:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Well it definetly sounds like your boss has some issues that are his own. However, may I suggest a 12 step program like Alanon to help you deal with such behavior that is unacceptable. The steps have taught me how to deal with many different situations, personalities and most importantly, taught me how to take care of myself. Hope that helps! Good Luck! |
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| Reply from: |
buddy |
| Date: |
9/17/2006 9:26:00 PM |
| Reply: |
to: becky
from: buddy
oh boy, can i ever identify with your problem boss. i got one i deal with who is similar in that he micromanages just about everything i do. or, at the very least, certain situations where only he has the right answer.and like you, i love my job and everybody else i work with. but with this boss--actually, he's not the overall boss, only wants to be, thus inflicting his wrath on others, I lose any fun that might come from it. with such bosses, i think you need more than a 12-step program. you might want to double that to a 24-step program. good luck. you're going to need it if he's anything like the one i deal with. |
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| Reply from: |
justventing |
| Date: |
10/7/2006 12:18:00 AM |
| Reply: |
I work for a drama queen. He once told me that he was going to be up on the roof if anyone was looking for him. I was going to offer to go up with him and push him off, but thought I better not. Working for this person is exhausting, he must exhaust himself with his bi polar personality, all day long up and down, one second happy the next he is mad. He yells at me and then the next day comes in with a big smile. |
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| Reply from: |
justventing |
| Date: |
10/7/2006 12:20:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Becky, Your boss sounds worse then mine. My suggestion is for you to look for another job and quit!! |
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| Reply from: |
goozmom |
| Date: |
10/11/2006 7:37:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Hey Becky,
I am in the same boat, my boss (owner of the company) is the same way. He is in partnership with his inlaw and he hates her and everyday for the last 2+ yrs I have heard all his problems with her and then it leads into his wife and about the employees. He follows me around all day I cant get anything done, I am his shrink!! I finally have had enough and today I called in and told my other boss I've had it.
I think he is bipolar and diffently needs medication, 2 weeks ago during one of his temper tandrums he asked me if I had a gun he could use?? You dont ask an employee that!!!! I was outraged and I still am, that was it!!!
Everyday from minute to minute his moods change from Mr. Happy to Cry Baby.
My family is so tired of hearing my complain about "Tom" everyday, I am determined to find a new job soon!! I hate him so much he has ruined a once great job for me I love the work and my co-workers but it is so unheathly for me there.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Goozmom |
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| Reply from: |
diamondgirl |
| Date: |
11/1/2006 4:31:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Ermm mine is micromanaging me constantly now and sooo interested in everything I do. I think she'd follow me into the restroom if the door wouldn't lock. Any tips on dealing with these draining people? |
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| Reply from: |
hadenuff |
| Date: |
11/12/2006 7:16:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I definitely identify! let's see - the self-admitted manic depressive guy I work for is a lawyer so his philosophy of life is to KILL the other side-he is constantly overworking us, eg - keeps us in the office til 10 pm, without even offering food to hungry people! it doesn't occur to him even. He has some personality disorder where he thinks pretty much everything he doesn't like about another person boils down to their being "bad", "lazy" or "stupid". Those are his favorite words in the English language and he uses them all the time! He "confides" in me about how my co-workers are "lazy" "dumb" and "not going to work out" and yet, I like these people, and really don't want to hear it!
It scares me that I HATE this man!
I'm so full of this negative energy from putting up with this for so long. I'm afraid of entering the world of "job-hunting" but it's the lesser of two evils at this point.
I think I've finally had enough. Last week, he asked me to do the work of a staff member. I'm a professional, and went to law school n got a degree and I'm not there to do word-processing after five years of practice!
The man truly needs to be taught a few things.
after 1.5 years, I mouth off to him ALL the time now! It's gotten to the point where I crack down on him as aoon as anything happens, and i'm waiting to be fired for it.
I wanna quit about once a week.
I gotta get out! we all gotta get out! |
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| Reply from: |
deirdre |
| Date: |
12/13/2009 12:47:00 PM |
| Reply: |
i work for a unmedicated manic depressive who has issues on every level. She believes to rule us though she is only a supervisor,our real boss turns a deaf ear. What she has told is a complete mystery. I bet it is a doozy. She lies about us especially me. She is black uneducated especially in the arts. We work in an art museum. She has tired to fire people and favors others. She curses at us. I am an artist with a solid education in art history.She tried to make me believe we were friends. I never believed her.My only defense is silence and distance. I don't react if I can manage. I'd like to leave but this is a dream job for me. I also am bipolar and recognize the behavior, the happy rudeness, distorted perspective of the world. My only comment after all this is compassion with detachment. Yours and mine are on a course I wouldn't envy. They are hated,very alone and can only fail. There is a part who knows things are wrong but have asolutely no control. Try changing what you say, how you say it and alanon is good but another job ain't a bad idea. think of all you have learned. |
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| Reply from: |
deirdre |
| Date: |
12/13/2009 12:52:00 PM |
| Reply: |
sorry I can draw but I can't type |
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