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A Survival Guide for Working With Bad Bosses: Dealing With Bullies, Idiots, Back-stabbers, And Other Managers from Hell
Games Bosses Play: 36 Career Busters Your Supervisor May Be Firing Your Way and How You Can Defend Yourself
You Don't Have to Take It!: A Woman's Guide to Confronting Emotional Abuse at Work
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office abuse
Posted by: momfirst
Date: 12/27/2006 4:22:18 PM
My boss verbally abuses me on the telephone by yelling and screaming at me and accusing me, etc. When he starts to yell I tell him he has to speak to me like a "mench" and I hang up the phone. He called me into his office this week and told me he has the right to abuse me and if I don't like it "I can leave and find another job."
| Reply from: |
emarie |
| Date: |
12/27/2006 8:34:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Sounds to me like he doesn't know his Yiddish very well..but is a schmuck! Attach a recording device to your phone (they're cheap...basically a tape recorder with a suction cup microphone) and record a few of these tantrums. Check your state laws. Here, it is legal to tape someone without their knowledge. Then take it to HIS boss, and let that person hear you asking to be spoken to respectfully and the boss saying he can abuse you if he wants. He can't. It's illegal. Then lay your cards on the table. You want this, this and this, or you will proceed with action against them because workplace abuse is legally actionable. It may be tough so you'd better have the huevos to follow through. In the mean time, start looking for another jobs. Usually bosses who act this way are being enabled and protected by higher ups. Have a back up plan. If they respond in a hostile fashion and you know it will get worse, simply say you are taking that as a no to your requests and are leaving, WITH the tape (make copies and keep the original at home). Tell them if you hear even one bad word spoken about you leak out of that place you will play the tape for their competitors when you job hunt there, as well as the state department of labor relations. Then run, don't walk. People only continue to abuse us with our consent. Good luck. |
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| Reply from: |
goodboss |
| Date: |
12/30/2006 6:58:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Unfotunately this kind of behaviour is perfectly legal in both Canada and the US. Unless you can prove that your boss is treating you this way specifically because of your race, gender, religion, disability, or age, etc., then you don't have any legal case against your boss. Your legal options here are to either put up with the abuse or find another job. (And please note, if you keep hanging up on your boss, you will provide HIM with a legal case for firing you, so I recommend you stop doing this.)
That said, if you want to pursue this issue with your boss, I recommend you arrange a face to face meeting with him. Attend prepared with notes and examples, and try not to be too personal in the meeting. This means not saying things like "You're a rotten so-and-so for behaving like this to me!" Instead, say things like "when you say X to me, I respond like Y" and "I respond well to requests phrased like this [and give an example of how you'd like him to phrase his requests]."
If you have an HR rep at your company, ask him/her for assistance in preparing for this meeting.
Keep in mind though that this conversation may make your boss extremely uncomfortable and you may end up getting fired over it. If you're in Canada you'll be owed termination pay for being fired; if you're in the US you won't get anything at all. So think very very carefully before you do this. |
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| Reply from: |
emarie |
| Date: |
1/1/2007 11:02:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Hi, emarie again. Would you go to the Employee loyalty link, read the comments, and please comment on the attitude of that guy...people here are NOT talking about "warm fuzzie" being needed. It's just like Aretha says:
R E S P E C T
Tell your other friends here to go to that site, too. He is ridiculing us for not being true professionals about our "business transaction" and basically calling everyone here a big baby. I think he's due for a smackdown. He's entitled to his views but he represent corporations, and sucking up to them is his livelihood. No compoassion for what people here have gone through. |
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| Reply from: |
goodboss |
| Date: |
1/2/2007 10:09:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Emarie, I went to a lot of trouble to try and provide you with some useful advice, and with nothing but the kindest of intentions. I am sincerely shocked, appalled and more than a little hurt by your responses to me and cannot for the life of me think what I could have done to cause you to spew all this anger and venom at me (never mind the threats of violence! this is truly awful!). To paraphrase something I said earler, if this is what good intentions get me, maybe I shouldn't bother! (Also, I am not a "he" nor have I ever said I am a "he" - nor do I represent corporations - where are you getting this stuff? Certainly not from my posts...) |
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