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Is it ok for the boss to tell you how awful your co-workers are?
Posted by: hadenuff
Date: 1/2/2007 1:10:26 AM
This last person I worked for - sole proprietor - just came into my office and complained to me pretty regularly about the other employees - my co-workers. He'd tell me they were "Lazy", He was going to "fire" them, their work was "untrustworthy". It freaked me! It's a really small office and I liked the other people he was talking about so it divided my loyalty/sort of confused me. I didn't sign up for the therapist role and dont wanna be. I'm wondering, is this sort of behavior normal/acceptable office behavior...? Is it naive to feel this sort of stuff is toxic?
| Reply from: |
goodboss |
| Date: |
1/2/2007 9:39:00 AM |
| Reply: |
You're right, it's toxic - also unethical and unprofessional. Unfortunately though, there's nothing really you can do about this. The kind of boss who does this is also the kind of boss who would view YOU as toxic if you brought your discomfort to his/her attention, and would start treating you accordingly. (And THAT would be a heckuva lot worse than being treated like his/her therapist.) My best advice to you in this sitiuation would be to get a new job, and if that's not possible for whatever reason, then try not to pay too close attention to the rantings of your boss. Respond noncommittally ("uh-huh" and "I hear you" whenever your boss pauses for breath), and then do your best to empty your memory banks as soon as your boss is finished and has left the room. Good luck. |
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| Reply from: |
unicorn27 |
| Date: |
1/5/2007 7:30:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I agree with the first response. I would add that, "A person who talks to you about others will soon be talking to others about you."
My advice is to start looking for another job "while still employed" where you are....the reason is "it is easier to find a job when you have one."
i.e., there is no stress, etc.
Good luck |
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| Reply from: |
rockiskwerl |
| Date: |
1/7/2007 9:11:00 PM |
| Reply: |
The elementary school principal (I NO longer consider her MY BOSS), does the aformentioned each and every day. She talks about EVERYONE behind their backs. She is the one that promotes a fractious and toxic working environment. Thank the Lord she will retire this year!
So remember, in order for that type of toxic behavior to work, you have to just listen and watch your back. If the boss is talking about everyone, he/she will later talk about YOU. |
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| Reply from: |
faith |
| Date: |
1/10/2007 11:57:00 AM |
| Reply: |
My supervisor and her boss sound just like your boss. Everybody is stupid and cannot do anything right besides themselves. Actually, what the problem is they cannot look in the mirror because they are afraid of what they might see and that is they are the ones that are incompetent. What I would suggest is just doing your work to the best of your ability and know that your boss have issues that he needs to deal with. Good Luck! |
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| Reply from: |
Factsmaster |
| Date: |
1/12/2007 11:38:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Hadenuff I know exactly how you feel as I once reported to someone just like what you described. What I learned through my ordeal is that this person is coward that is both fearful to express to others how he/she feels and how they are performing; he/she is also two-faced. You should not trust this person because if he/she talks with you about others; you can surely bet he/she is doing the same for you. The best advice here is to tell the "boss" every time he/she comes to complain that either you have to excuse yourself for a bathroom break or that you are scheduled to talk with someone or you have to run to a meeting. Over time, he or she should get the message. Stay out of the middle of this work place situation; because the rest of the employees will only view you as a being a co-conspirator also. |
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