How To Deal With A Narcissistic Boss
"My boss is the most self-centered SOB I’ve ever met. Do you have any tips on how to survive a boss who has an ego the size of the Sears Tower?"
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User: anonymous
Date: 5/28/2006 2:53:00 AM
It all depends. Ask yourself the following questions. Does he or she consistently exhibit immoral and unethical behavior? Does he or she delight in other’s misery? Does he or she, with very little effort, manipulate situations? Does he or she frequently change doctrines, “flip-flop”? If you answered yes to any number of these, you are dealing probably dealing with a Narcissist. These people are unpleasant to deal with and don’t value you. If you can handle this and furthermore, are willing to play their game and supply them what they crave, great! However…..Don’t complain, don’t expect them to act ethically, don’t…… If you can reconcile their bad behavior, minimize your participation, use them (they are the tool) and are seriously willing to put A LOT of effort in to constantly being in their favor and predicting what they want “Just Do It”….. Just remember…it has to be enough that you know they are really the “Tool”…if you can play the game never reveal your “hand” or “secrets”…..don’t share this with anyone…..
Oh.....and get used to feeling crazy...!
I worked for the "worst-of-the-worst".....my advice....QUIT!...
User: anonymous
Date: 8/16/2007 9:31:00 PM
I took this job with this narcissistic boss just because I needed the money, benefits, and wanted to work closer to home. However, her behaviors are that she is often trying to intimidate me, loves to shut me down, and as soon as she finds out that something might bother me, she makes sure it happens. Can you explain using her as the tool?
User: anonymous
Date: 9/24/2007 1:16:00 PM
But what if your personnly involed becasue the boss/narcissist is your family?
User: anonymous
Date: 2/26/2008 11:09:00 PM
I have never dealt with a narcissistic boss. Mine is always about "him" and never compliments me. I do half of his job, only because he is not capable of doing it, but he "throws me under the bus'' when ever he can. He always has to come out on top.
User: anonymous
Date: 6/10/2008 2:34:00 PM
My boss is not only a narcissist but sexist as hell too, every time I've tried to exert my own opinion (as a PROFESSIONAL, you know, what he HIRED me for??) he shuts me down. If I stand firm, he calls me a hormonal female. I've tried everything in the book to deal with him, but honestly I think people like this are just going to live in their own little world no matter what you do. My advice is to get away-no job is worth sacrificing your self respect. And isn't that the core of what a narcissist wants? They want you to feel as little as possible, because just like that bully in the third grade, it makes them feel bigger. Unless you're extremely self-confident, it's better to distance yourself from these emotional vampires.
User: anonymous
Date: 7/20/2008 12:08:00 PM
I have worked with one for 7 years now and am just now realizing the title to his illness. my only way to stay at this good paying job is to research on how to pychologically deal with him to where he does not know what I am doing and hopefully still keep my self worth.
I am surprised that I have lasted this long due to me being very sensitive myself. It must be a real art to play their game but I am going to check it out and see if I can for once come out on top. I feel as though I have experienced a bad marriage. I truly believe that this person has taken days (maybe years) off of my life.
User: anonymous
Date: 9/15/2008 3:31:00 PM
Dear "7 years now"(above),
You will not win. You will never win against them. I lost over 10 years of my life to one. We... people who are intelligent and normal do not have to tools to play at their games.
Take a serious look at what you have going for you in your personal life and aim your energy there. It will feel easier to make an educated decision to give up rather than to be beaten in a game you have no chance to win. Feel proud that you figured out the name of the illness. Keeping your self worth is the most important thing for you. Count your cards and leave the table.
User: anonymous
Date: 9/22/2008 12:01:00 AM
I think the workforce is full of these people in management roles as the rest of us keep jumping and these guys and gals ham it up to their bosses. I think most staff just take years, longer or never figure it out.
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