Employee brings daughter to work

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Employee brings daughter to work

Posted by: martha
Date: 6/24/2004 10:15:11 AM

I work in a small company - very casual - generally workday is 9-5 - not a lot of walk in traffic. We have an employee that has been here for about 6 months that occasionally decides to bring her daughter to work. I come from a corporate background where this is simply unacceptable. However, my boss doesn't have a problem with it. I can understand occasionally having a problem with daycare - but she doesn't even call to find out if it will be okay. And she is generally 10 minutes late - on a daily basis. HELP!

Reply from:	mindym22
Date:	6/24/2004 12:58:00 PM
Reply:	I would not say anything unless the girl is disruptive, or if she brings her to work when she is ill.

Reply from:	martha
Date:	6/24/2004 2:36:00 PM
Reply:	Shouldn't she call or at least mention why she's bringing her daughter in? She doesn't give any warning. And the daughter isn't ill - she's a tad disruptive sitting at my desk talking to me and going in and out of my office... ANNOYING! Is it just me though or is this unacceptable?

Reply from:	mindym22
Date:	6/25/2004 1:04:00 PM
Reply:	The girl should not b permitted to distract people in the office, but it must be handled very tactfully. How old is the child?

Reply from:	martha
Date:	6/25/2004 2:04:00 PM
Reply:	the girl is about 7 years old. I am understanding that sometimes situations occur where the child must be brought to work - or the parent must call out for the day. However, I just feel that this is unprofessional, especially considering that this employee takes it upon herself to make the decision whether or not it works for the office.

Reply from:	mindym22
Date:	6/28/2004 1:03:00 PM
Reply:	maybe plitely tell the child something like, "Im busy now, Ok sweetie?" or something like that

Reply from:	awinterson
Date:	7/1/2004 1:45:00 PM
Reply:	If it's ok with your boss, then it's OK, that's why they're the boss. If the child is disruptive to your work, then speak to your manager. If not, what's the harm? I think the idea that a child in the workplace is unprofessional is a holdover from the days when women didn't work once they had children. Isn't it time we became more open-minded about this? So long as the child is not bothering anyone and her mother is still getting her work done, it shouldn't be a problem. And being bothered by a colleague being 10 minutes late seems petty to me.

Reply from:	abctrain
Date:	7/1/2004 1:49:00 PM
Reply:	I agree with awinterson. I've often had to bring my daughter in to work, but I'm never unprofessional about it. In fact, she's often been helpful, and she's being exposed to an office environment, which many children don't often get a chance to see.

Reply from:	josie
Date:	7/10/2004 9:30:00 PM
Reply:	Martha, I've been in the same situation in a few of my past jobs. It's sometimes beyond distracting and disruptive -- some parents seem clueless about the impact their children have on others in the workplace. Bless 'em, I can sympathize with the childcare issue, but really. Unless your workplace has (or is!) an actual childcare facility, in which case the child's needs and safety are being properly tended to, children don't belong in the workplace. It's selfish to assume otherwise, or that co-workers "won't mind." If your office is egalitarian enough to handle an open discussion about it, start one. Otherwise, you owe it to yourself to bring it up with the boss privately. There may even be liability issues at stake, in addition to workplace morale and productivity.

Reply from:	darwinution
Date:	7/12/2004 10:21:00 PM
Reply:	I Have A Solution. Make the boss think he's an expert at handling problems. I had this problem at school. My art teacher brought her 8 year old with her (I was high school senior). The boy was disruptive, rude and started trouble. The teacher didn't realise this. I made an appointment to see the principle and explained the situation. I was polite and respectfull to all parties, but said that this was preventing me from doing work and that I could no longer rely on the teacher to take care of this. I told the principal that I knew he was good at handling these things. That worked. The teacher never brought her kid to school again.

Reply from:	salahz06
Date:	7/13/2004 9:55:00 PM
Reply:	Not sure what the big issue her... Why not worry about doing your own job, not what the others are doing? Let's face it people, out of the 8 hrs spent at work, about 50% is wasted on none work related issues (Office type of work)..

Reply from:	mrsdepass
Date:	7/27/2004 1:28:00 PM
Reply:	So how often is 'occasionally', how old's the kid, where and how does she spend her office time? "Stick to your own knitting" not always practical. A managing attorney I worked for used to bring his kid in and let him ride his tricycle down the halls in our 2-story building, 15-attorney firm. Fine for attorneys, close the door. Secretaries generally don't have that luxury, esp. in small spaces. Small companies are easier, esp. if the boss doesn't mind and the kid's non-disruptive and has activities. I have stocked puzzles, games, books for coworkers' kids myself, or get her to help make photocopies, type envelopes, etc. (Great self-esteem booster for a kid, esp. if they feel unwelcome.) That's how I learned, now I type 150 wpm. & run my husband's law office.

Reply from:	manchmal
Date:	8/6/2004 12:55:00 PM
Reply:	Bah! I'm tired of people thinking that they have special priviledges because they have children. And this is not some indication of discrimination in the workplace. Children distract at work: no one is going to get MORE done because her kid is there. Furthermore, is is presumptuous and rude to assume that someone else would want to deal with your kid wandering in and out of their office. I don't have kids, and don't want kids, and I already feel discriminated against because, for example, my boss can stay home when her daughter isn't feeling well but I can't stay home when, say, my dog needs to go to the vet. If she has to pick up her child at daycare, it is very understandable, but if I have to drive myself to the doctor, it isn't? I say enough of the overcompensation for people who have children. Leave them home, or take them to daycare, but don't torture the rest of the workplace with them. Unless, of course, you wouldn't blink if I brought in my 80lb dog for a few hours.

Reply from:	mindym22
Date:	8/10/2004 1:41:00 PM
Reply:	Manchmal, I know what you mean, at my previous job my co worker was permitted to leave early to see his daughter's school play, yet when I asked to leave an hour early for a Dr appt, I was given the 3rd degree about the appt, naturally I did not want to share all of this info so I cancelled the appt, made another a few weeks later and called in sick that day. Another married co worker was allowed to come in late so she could get her hair done without anyone giving her a hard time. My current job has life/work balance for ALL employees not just "family friendly" there is a big difference.

Reply from:	prp329
Date:	8/10/2004 8:38:00 PM
Reply:	I agree with abctrain, my daughter came to work with me every wednesday and friday during the summer, the day we didn't have afternoon patients. She's 9, but has been coming off and on since she was 2, she may get on my nerves a little but I find her something to do. Maybe ask her if she'd like to stamp envelopes for you or give her paper and highliter's let her make a picture especially for you. This summer my daughter learned how to file charts and pull charts and punch holes in papers and stuff envelopes. You can find something fun to do that can help you. Kids love to work for the office, they think it's fun and it helps them learn new skills and builds confidence. I could go on forever. In a small office, it's better to bring the child than to stay home. Befriend the little girl, both you and her mom and the girl will appreciate each other more in the future! Maybe the mom needs support?

Reply from:	prp329
Date:	8/10/2004 8:47:00 PM
Reply:	manchmal, I see your point too. I am an office manager and have employees out all the time, but if the child is not ill, then I say bring them in. I do inforce some rules, but normally donot have problems with these kids. If I managed a vet clinic rather than an oral surgeons office, I'd let you bring the dog!

Reply from:	ohiobill
Date:	8/17/2004 2:29:00 PM
Reply:	I'm with manchmal. Look, parents, your kids aren't cute. They aren't all that talented, they aren't clever. What they are is annoying. Leave the kids at home where they belong, particularly if they're sick. Case in point, in Hospice or Hospital there are pet therapy programs. If kids were really beneficial to others, you can bet there would be kid therapy programs. There aren't, and there's a reason for that.

Reply from:	sueb262
Date:	8/18/2004 1:02:00 PM
Reply:	manchmal's entry, along with those who agreed, is interesting in that it fails to address the problem under discussion, but simply rants against the unfair practice of allowing human children in the workplace and not dogs. i have both, and, when my daughter was young, was in a situation where i could bring her to work occasionally. as far as i could tell, this worked out well. i, too, have never been able to bring my Pug in to work, and have often really wished i could. whining about a perception of someone else's "special privileges" could only come from someone who is completely unfamiliar with the parenting experience, and so needs no further response than one would give to any ignorant statement, rather than the dignity afforded an informed complaint. the childish, self-centered mantra "but HE has one!" is unhelpful in this discussion.

Reply from:	ohiobill
Date:	8/21/2004 2:04:00 PM
Reply:	Sueb262, I don't doubt that bringing your daughter to work was beneficial to you and your daughter. I doubt others enjoyed the experience.

Reply from:	beenthere
Date:	8/23/2004 12:01:00 AM
Reply:	I have experienced my direct reports and my co-workers bringing in their children. It's like anything else...some kids are well behaved, mannerly, and helpful...others are not. I don't think work is the best place for kids, but in mosts cases I have seen, it is not the first choice for the parent or the child either. Emergencies happen and we should all try to understand (unless it becomes a habit, then that's a different issue). What surprised me most about several comments above is the anger towards children and their parents. "Look, parents, your kids aren't cute. They aren't all that talented, they aren't clever. What they are is annoying." [Ohiobill]. I would like to remind folks that people who are raising children are contributing to everyone's future. Who will be the doctors, nurses, teachers, business executives, factory workers, etc. who are paying taxes, managing businesses, manufacturing products, taking care of your health, etc. when you retire? I think we should respect and support everyone's contribution.

Reply from:	marie
Date:	11/22/2004 2:28:00 PM
Reply:	Amen to all the open minded, tolerent, non-judgemental people who have understanding hearts and suportive attitudes; they are the salt of the earth people who will push our society into a world without selfishness, greed, intolerance,war and needless suffering.

Reply from:	ariessag
Date:	11/26/2004 11:28:00 PM
Reply:	I can't imagine people bringing children or animals into work, but I work in IT, where there is limited security access, and all visitors are required to submit a request for access to the facility at least 24 hours in advance. I have a six year-old son at home whom I love dearly, but I would never bring him into an office environment, because children require too much attention and you are there to work, not babysit. Your employer is paying you (and your coworkers) for your time to work, not entertain your kid. Regardles of whether you are are a man or a woman, you are equally responsible for your children who are too young to supervise themselves, and that is why people pay for childcare. This also includes pet care/eldercare/care for disabled family members. This is what vacation days, personal days, sick days, and FMLA are for.

Reply from:	screwedover
Date:	12/23/2004 12:14:00 AM
Reply:	I HAVE 3 CHILDREN AND ALTHOUGH MY JOB WAS BASED AROUND CHILDREN PEOPLE THOOUGHT I WASN'T SUCH A GOOD BOSS BECAUSE OF MY CHILDREN. HOWEVER, I STILL TOOK THEM. I SAW NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING THEM. NOW IF YOUR COMPANY DOESN'T RELY ON KIDS FOR THEIR PROFIT, THEN I AGREE, CHILDREN DON'T BELONG IN THE WORK PLACE. YOU SHOULD SPEEK TO YOUR BOSS AND TELL HIM/HER YOUR PROBLEMS WITH THIS CHILD AND LET THE BOSS KNOW YOUR WORK WILL SHOW THE PROBLEMS. SIGNED, SCREWEDOVER

Reply from:	angelic
Date:	1/4/2005 7:14:00 PM
Reply:	I understand the distraction, it is hard to focus on work when the kid is around. Is your boss coming down on you for not getting your work done on days when the child is around? Is it actually keeping you from getting your work done or is it just a littl annoying. If you are just finding it a little annoying, why not just talk to the mother and tell her to make a rule about staying out of your office/space. I don't have children but who cares if there is a kid around. It will keep you young. Maybe it will give you a much needed distraction from your obviously stressful job.

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