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Emotional and Verbal abuse-how do i recover?
Posted by: tuffstuff
Date: 8/1/2004 12:43:00 PM
as updated on my previous posting, i am quitting my overseas gov't position and coming home to the US. I am going back to the US. I gave my boss one month's notice, but in retaliation for complaining about him, he fired me and took away all of my logistical proveledges. His buddies, in the good 'ol boy system on base here, supported him. I am a young woman who got hired stateside and came here. He got high off of threatening me, hurting me verbally, and intimidating me by following me, holding meetings for 4 and 5 hours, insulting me, scaring me. i could actually sense him getting off when i could cry. the sad thing is, after so much abuse from a mean mean man, i don't know how to recover, to move on. i haven't been able to find a job, and he told me people who have told on him in the past have a tough time getting a job. He wont give me a good reccomendation, and i am just plain hurt and damaged. I have a good head on my shoulders, how could i let someone treat me like this for so long? how do i recover?
| Reply from: |
sidetwister |
| Date: |
8/2/2004 8:23:00 PM |
| Reply: |
You really need to contact an attorney with a labor law background. I have been in this situation in the past and the "good ole boys" network doesn't cut it any more. Part of the problem you will have though is how much of the situation is documented by him and did you document any of your attempts to resolve this situation with his supervisors. Also it seems that there have been complaints in the past. What was done with these complaints? This could help you build your case. Did you actually work for the US government or a contractor? If you worked for a contractor the Office of Contract Compliance might be able to help you. Also try contacting the Department of Labor. I've had help from them getting paid back wages that were due to me. Finally, to be blunt, you need to stop being a martyr and take some personal action. Working and having a real job isn't like college where good work is rewarded by good grades (most of the time). Work is extremely unfair at times and alot of harassment feels so personal, but it isn't, you just happened to be the next in line for that jerk. So move on and take with you the lessons you've learned here so that this situation doesn't happen again. |
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| Reply from: |
ellabellagio |
| Date: |
8/4/2004 9:16:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I currently work for a woman who is extremely abusive to every single person in my organization. Her screaming and threats have affected me so significantly that i've thrown up, been unable to sleep, and lost 10 pounds within 1 month of starting to work for this company. She's also a compulsive liar, and exaggerates everything, so one small mistake on anyone's part turns into a colossal disaster that will ruin the business. I'm talking about mistakes on the level of forgetting to add an attachment to an internal email & then sending it correctly 30 seconds later.
In any case, everyone else in the company seems to have found a way to ignore her, so i felt challenged to figure it out myself.
What i'm learning is that bad bosses can only push you as far as you'll let them. You feel like you can't get a job because that boss has you convinced that you can't. And the longer you focus on the damage he has done, the longer it will take you to recover. Write off that boss. If you can't get a recommendation from that boss, find someone else in your company who will. Recognize your strengths and use whatever resources you can find - you will recover. |
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