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Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up
Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullies
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New at job, nasty boss...how to deal?
Posted by: politenessman
Date: 9/4/2004 6:44:50 PM
I just completed my first week of work at a new job, and my manager is so intolerably nasty I cannot believe I am already thinking about quitting or getting transferred to another department. This is such a disappointment because I really wanted this job and to work for this company, but this woman makes the transition to this office unneccessarily difficult. I really don't know what to do; I cannot afford to just simply quit, and complaining to others is just the wrong thing to do. From my first day of work this woman has short-tempered, bitter, and quick to criticize. In my first hour at that office she completely trashed our departmental head by calling her a bitch and a control freak; I had told her I found our boss nice, someone I felt I could learn a lot from, and that I looked forward to working with her, and this is how she reacted. She prefaced that by saying that a "certain level of trust" was required betwen us if we were going to work as a team, and that nothing she said to me was to be repeated to anyone else. Insecure, maybe? She is ill-mannered, inappropriately nasty, juvenile, and an overall terrible manager; she cannot give properly direction nor explain herself fully...and I get yelled at for her ineptitude! She could not direct me to files on one of our servers, and labelled the co-worker who showed me the servers "stupid". She gave me erronoeus information on my projects at least four times, and threw a fit when I pointed out to her a mistake she had made. She screamed at me in front of one of my co-workers for mispronouncing a name, and when I mispronounced an industry term, she yelled, "say it! repeat after me! say it", like I was a child. Before I got there this department lost six employees in two months...all people that worked under her, and none of them were fired or laid off; they proabably couldn't take her crap. How do I deal with this mess? I want to stay at this company but I feel completely defeated before I've even gotten started! Does anyone have any advice? What kind of person does she sound like?
| Reply from: |
grandbanana |
| Date: |
9/10/2004 6:10:00 AM |
| Reply: |
PolitenessMan,
I feel your pain! I know pretty much what you're going through --- there's no easy way. Obviously, your manager has some flaws that are hindering your job and possibly your job performance. If the situation you're in is like the one I just left, then I don't know how you'd be able to actually win. Corporate America seems to reward people like that (in my experience) and those who were victimized end up walking away with their tails between their legs.
I took it as long as I could and showed that I was more or less immune to the abuse --- I thought that I was beating her and her little games, until she turned the tables and went for the jugular. The fact that I wasn't succumbing to her abuse really ticked her off and she brought out the big guns --- it became personal and it was an attempt to not only get me out of there, but to ruin my life for good! Don't let it get to that point...trust me, it's not worth it. |
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| Reply from: |
minervaf |
| Date: |
9/13/2004 4:03:00 PM |
| Reply: |
You need to start looking for a new job. |
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| Reply from: |
mindym22 |
| Date: |
9/14/2004 1:19:00 PM |
| Reply: |
at a former job of mine I watched a 50ish woman supervisor CONSTANTLY berate a 25ish, very attractive, intelligent, well spoken new female employee who was to report to her. She cussed the new lady out for being 5 minutes late during a snowstorm, and questioned and micromanaged everything she did. This went for about 3 months. The young woman was poised and classy,the supervisor crass crude with an untidy appearance, but the final straw came when the supervisor overreacted to a very small mistake, went up to her and screamed at her and pointed her finger in her face. The new woman said get your finger out out my face, and started to walk away. The supervisor grabber her arm(!!!) The new woman said "get your hands off me who do you think you are?" At this point another manager came out and tried to smooth everything over. The new employee was very upset, near tears, and the screaming supervisor went back to her own desk. The next day the new woman did not show up for work. We later found out she was hired by a competitor who knew the screaming supervisor and knew what she was like. If someone is threatened by someone else for any reason they will try to get rid of them, but a good employee will find something better. I would check with others as to how they dealt with her , Im sure everyone knows what this woman is like also. Also, you might want to post your resume anonymously online.
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