Bullied workers suffer 'battle stress'
"What do soldiers under fire and bullied workers have in common? Not much, you may think."
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Read: news.bbc.co.uk
User: freewoman
Date: 11/16/2004 11:32:00 PM
I didn't think that what I am experiencing at the moment would be considered post traumatic stress disorder yet I am able to relate certain items in the article regarding the bullying. I had pre-existing problems with my stomach prior to my job (now my former job, I QUIT), took several "mental health" days as I call them, have lost much sleep, and yes, I OBSESS about the situation constantly. I desparately need sleep at the moment and cannot fall asleep. Now I am jobless as I finally got the guts to get out of the sick environment I was in. More stress. This too shall pass
User: possum
Date: 1/2/2005 5:23:00 PM
I can relate to most items in this article & all comments...even (from a certain perspective only) the comment "if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen). From my own and others experience of being bullied in the workplace I know that it is torturous. And that the bully can be male or female, a boss, a subordinate or a peer. My burning question is : why are (some?) HR departments so quick to side with (alleged) bully managers? For example, (speaking from personal experience & extensive research also)surely it should be obvious to an HR manager that the person who has lodged the complaint is in all probability is being victimised for doing so when the manager concerned immediately trumps up a charge (and wants disciplinary action)against the person subsequent to hearing there has been a complaint? There appears to be strong evidence that this is the standard reaction of the true bully. This being so, why do some HR managers allow (encourage?) a disciplinary hearing to go ahead before they have even talked to the person who has lodged a bullying complaint? I can't get my head around this. Hope this makes sense.
User: uppuchi
Date: 1/23/2005 3:13:00 PM
Like Possum's posting above, I too am at a loss of words as to why the HR Global Director, the HR Manager and other upper management folks turned a Nelson's eye to my case. Knowingly they remained insensitive to my feelings - of having to report to a Proj Manager, graded lower than me, just because he was on the project when I came onboard.
HR remained silent even and never took a mediator stand between me and the other Proj Manager. HR did not care to arrange a meeting between the two of us nor did it care to hear my views even when I told them of my intention to quit.
Strange are the workings of some departments and upper management. Nothing is known behind the reasons for their actions. They seem to remain blind ( or tolerate ? ) actions of some folks, like the other Project Manager who was responsible for my resignation. It baffles me why they put up with such folks. What influence or power do such folks have over an entire battalion of upper management and HR officials is simply incomprehensible.
It was the Bully's unilateral decision that the Management and HR courted with. So Bully got his way around no matter how much I pleaded with HR.
User: countrylane123
Date: 2/4/2005 10:52:00 AM
I am also going through this, where I feel I am being bullied at my job. I may have to quit here, and I have 18 yrs in here. management is backing this bully boss. this boss is nice/nasty. You cant talk to her, or them as they are sneaky and underhanded.You would think they would try and work with you, so you wouldnt leave, but guess they just dont care.
User: janetarie
Date: 3/10/2005 12:40:00 PM
Well...
I'm in the same boat,ladies. Have you ever had a boss that solicited ideas or advice and then turncoated and decided that nothing that you said mattered? Also, my exboss abused me through email, because we worked in such a small office. The girl I worked with was in cahoots with him, cause the prissy little twit wanted to kiss ass a majority of the time. The organization I worked for, so I came to find out was a total sham anyhow (diploma mill). They've had a 60% turnover rate there over the last 3 years. I am now trying to manage my panic attacks as a result of his passive/agressive idiocy. I'm so happy to be out of there...
User: anonymous
Date: 5/16/2005 12:41:00 AM
i also agree with all of the above comments. i was threatened, verbaly abused and shamed. i am still recovering from all this a year later, i left finaly after 17 years at that place. hopefully i will be happy on my new job.
User: anonymous
Date: 6/17/2005 10:49:00 PM
MY Boss is very obvious about who he thinks is smart enough to merit his time. It is very obvious even in the tone of his voice. I for example, am the nightsupervisor, he has no problem l etting me kmow as well as my employees know how little he thinks of my abilities! While at the same time he expects me to make sure my people work
User: anonymous
Date: 7/23/2005 6:00:00 AM
I deeply sympathise with everyone. I am going through a distressing time at the moment. I have recently took up an new position. There were reservations that I would not be able to carry out this post as I had not had a full legal clerical background, nevertheless, I got the position. I am now the subject of a four weekly review on all my work with the final outcome being a further meeting in four weeks time to advise me if that I have not improved my work I will be subject to Disciplinary proceedings. Needless to say, I have seen personnel and have basically been told that she will have to be impartial and why was I seeing her. I have a feeling that this procedure they are taking me through is a "constructive dismissal" procedure. I am feeling extremely poorly, upset and frightened of the outcome and of making more errors. I am seeing new employment but my self-esteem has gone down the drain.
User: anonymous
Date: 7/30/2005 12:21:00 AM
I have a boss(CEO) that during my annual evaluation spent 20 minutes talking to me about how "I need to change the way I present myself because I look "too Jr. League?" for the organization, two lower level employees do not want to approach you and said this could be a barrier." My boss also told me that I bug her and get on her nerves. What does this mean? I have excellent staff and positive relationships with my staff and I have had NO turnover only success in my department. I am in a management position,have had a very successful career, and have worked very hard to get where I am. Only 10 minutes was spend on giving me an "excellent" evaluation, "very few" positives pointed out and no other areas of growth recommended on the written form I was asked to sign.
Ideas?
User: anonymous
Date: 2/8/2006 4:01:00 PM
I thought I was going crazy until I read all of your responses. I just quit too from a dysfunctional work environment, despite the fact that I desperately need the health insurance. I could go on and on about how negative, untrustworthy and undependable the management is, but bottom line is that I have been beating myself up for a week thinking I was the one who was wrong (though my family applauds my decision). I wonder if it ever gets better...btw I filed for unemployment and anxiously await the vicious comeback from the company. Nicest thing is that people I managed still call for my help and to ask if I find another place to work, would I recommend them.
User: anonymous
Date: 2/24/2006 6:53:00 AM
I have just finished 7 weeks of hell after three co-workers undertook a mobbing process of alleging that I bullied them in the workplace. As a union delegate that has previously upset middle management the allegations were rapidly accepted and they were about to summarily dismiss me when I called upon the union and their expertise. I have finally been cleared of the allegations and the organisation has recognised that the general working culture is that of belittling, harassment, intimidation and absolutely no positive input for workers. Ironical that even though I was the alleged bully I have actually been the victim of an intense case of management bullying me. I did not wish to just leave a job that I am very suited to and I have decided it is worth my effort in trying to change the culture and endeavour to build a healthy respectful department.
User: anonymous
Date: 3/11/2006 7:23:00 PM
I have never gone thru something like this in my life & I have been working 30 years. I thought I had found the perfect retirement job. my new manager told me she was the go to person if any problems come up. Never thinking I would need that, I accpeted the job. but later I did have trouble with the accounting dept. manager. I tried to work it out, but when it didn't go away (this was about my own money)I confided in my manager, who had up until that time told me many times that I was doing a great job. little did I know that they were best friends! & everything I said went straight to the problem person. 2 days later my boss is she had changed her mind about me & from that point forward I have been "in trouble". I am so stress out I finally gave my notice (which is what they wanted & never asked me why. my co-workers during this time had warned my after the fact that the acct. manager was pure evil. not only that, she is married to the owner! I have't been able to find anything on-line about untrustworthy bosses. I still need to work, need insurance, & feel these people will stop me from getting another job. just had to vent.
User: anonymous
Date: 3/22/2006 5:17:00 PM
my ex-boss yelled at me in front of everyone and told me we could take it outside! i wasn't going to fight her. she is bigger than me. then i fell and she destroyed the work injury report & said i never fell. i had to have major surgery on my hand. re-routed main artery to my hand. sawed off big wrost bone capped it off with a metal plate, 6 screws in my hand & 4 down my forearm. But i didn't fall. thanks to 3 honest ladies that knew i fell & saw mw sign the paper we settled. they said they didn't want it on the record. HA.but prior to the fall, i had things thrown at my head was told i acted like i was on drugs! and shamed in from of many people. others told her they are afraid of her. she bruised one persons arm & nothing was done. what the heck is this world coming to?
User: anonymous
Date: 3/31/2006 6:40:00 AM
I have abully boss and i have talked to H.R but they did nothing I am also out sick with anxiety I dont know were to turn now
User: anonymous
Date: 4/1/2006 5:42:00 AM
I would like to see some SOLUTIONS, some HELPFUL poat along with the usual gripes. What good does it do if you can't do any good? may as well not say anything.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/5/2006 7:05:00 PM
I do not understand why is it that when a person has a high position it makes them king of the world. When in fact they were the same person that started in the same place as you.I've learned to pray on and off the job.My stess and blood pressure have gone down.I have a friend who is going through this and I've dealt with adult bullies for 10 years .I have found was to be annoying and get my job done without the stress.I have transferred just to find out that there is a bully on everyjob.I refuse to be a brown nose,and this is why i am picked on the most .I think there ought to be a law that if you're boss is nagging you and you know you are doing you're job they should be fined for mental stress.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/5/2006 9:20:00 PM
My bully boss finally got rid of me through layoffs. After a year of total depression, I'm employed again and I realize that "getting laid off" was the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope that my former bully boss gets to work for a bully boss. It would be karma.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/6/2006 5:02:00 PM
Not many solutions unfortunately. US workers have few if any rights. We are virtually alone in the world in lacking rights. That's just why the French workers are protesting so vehemently.
1. Get a new job.
2. Write to your elected representatives. For example, Montana has "just cause" firing laws.
3. Some are calling for status-blind hostile environment law so that all harassment is covered.
I'm using the EEOC laws because I found my former employer treated women differently with regards to bullying. You can file a complaint with county, state or US while you are still employed.
Lastly, when called into a meeting where you think you're going to be fired, you have right to demand representation even if you're not a union member. This can help you negotiate a better way out.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/13/2006 12:10:00 PM
Isn't it inappropriate for a Manger to call an employee at home with work related issues while this employee is on approved short term disability?
User: anonymous
Date: 4/24/2006 1:14:00 AM
I have been experiencing a "boss bully" for 2 years. He talks down to me, embarasses me in front of others. He never understands my questions implying that I am not clear even though others praise my communication skills.
He never praises me in front of people. His face turns red when he looks at me.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/24/2006 1:16:00 AM
My performance is good so he has not been able to touch me. However, he is now trying to focus on my "weakness" which is not even a requirement of my job.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/24/2006 1:18:00 AM
I want to "post out" but I feel like he is trying to document something to keep me from being eligible for promotion.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/25/2006 6:07:00 PM
I am in such a bother, Im not even sure I am being bullied. Is there such a thing as subtle bullying?. I am a level two registered nurse and started in this position 6 months ago. My Team leader pulls me up for everything. It seems no matter how hard I try to "cover my bases" she finds something to pick at in my work. I now look forward to being on opposite shifts to her as then I am not always lookin over my shoulder. This causes me alot of anxiety and I lose sleep. Last week I had a four day week, three days of which she was not rostered on. The fourth day she was on and she went over all my documentation, and then called me into her office to "go over the things I do wrong". My problem is, I am not sure whether she is genuinely trying to improve my practice or if she is the most successful subtle bully I ever met. Others have transferred because of their inability to work with her. She also pulled me up when I was off work for a couple of days with an infection I caught at work. Asking me for a medical certificate when the law specifically says I dont need one until I have been off for three days. Six months down the track and I am already looking for new jobs.
User: anonymous
Date: 6/24/2006 4:12:00 PM
Bullying can be subtle but it's the repetition thats usually the key. Taken as single incidences they may seem trivial but over a period of time you may see a pattern emerging.
Try and keep a diary at home of your team leaders behaviour and over time you'll find out what her motive is.
User: anonymous
Date: 7/6/2006 9:09:00 PM
Dear Fellow Trabajadores (Workers),
Read (& pass this on) about what a psychotic supervisor tried to bully me with (over nothing else other than my Office Depot desk calendar) via a memo left on my desk for me to read when I arrived the following MORNING (she's so gutless!): "Re: Personal Property" "Please have all of your personal property (except purse, its contents, and work clothing) permanently removed from the...office no later than 4:45 PM today. All materials used in this office will be provided by the (educational) district. This includes, but is not limited to computers, papers, pads, writing utensils, envelopes, and any accoutrement (the only fancy word she repeatedly uses) used in the daily functioning on (didn't she learn proper English grammar for her Masters degree?) this office." AND THEN, due to words to her ears at a Union meeting, she did this: "Re: Personal Property" "This is to rescind the memo of...requesting you to remove all personal property from the work place. You may have appropriate personal property such as pictures or mementos, etc. If you want something not mentioned for your desk, please inform me before proceeding. Calendars for job related record-keeping will be provided to you by the district. We will also provide you with furniture, computer equipment, phones, memo pads and writing implements and any required tools to facilitate your doing your job." A nut is a nut is a nut--too bad they get hired to great jobs that they're not qualified to do.
User: anonymous
Date: 4/29/2007 12:37:00 AM
I just quit my job. My boss and her friend, a fellow co-worker have systematically bullied and harassed me over a period of 4 months. Unable to use my workskills, they inlisted the help of a timid co-worker whom they have intimidated into being their snitch. Unaware of this I confided in this person and it was all going back to them, twisted and changed and then thrown back in my face by upper management in one of many meetings about my,"attitude" toward authority. This was to be the final meeting, with a list of wrongs and lies made up with the help of the snitch. I walked out of the meeting, cleaned out my locker and left, but I have just began to fight!!! The Tigress
User: anonymous
Date: 10/26/2007 6:54:00 PM
Reading all of the above posts: you can fight all you want but if HR and upper management do nothing, they are condoning the bullies and your best bet is get the heckums out of those hell holes. In today's workworld, micromanagers and bullies are seen as one and the same, and both are secretly respected and feared, no matter how kind and hardworkingand friendly and open you, the beleagured employee, have been. Throw the pointless fight to these male and female baboons running those offices and take yourself elsewhere. Be smart in knowing how to provide for yourself; don't settle for being a foot-stool for these perverse, psychotic control freaks. Unless you're planning to become a manager yourself, or want to take them to court, wondering why me, why me is futile and self-abusive. These folks wipe their butts same as everybody else, but they have some pathetic clout where they work; and you're going to let these twits ruin your life, short as it is? Again, be smart and get away. Its not fair that they end up with a paycheck for doing what they do, but without targets, they end up stewing in their own foul juices, of that you can rest assured.
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