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Co-worker attack
Posted by: HelenM
Date: 7/21/2007 4:38:07 PM
I was in a meeting on Friday. It was a planning team minus supervisor who was on leave. My co-worker attacked me,verbally, in front of everyone present: her, myself, and two other co-workers. It appeared that she had been talking with one of the co-workers present (their behavior is similar, they stick up for each other, and their hostility was same). I did my best to handle the situation: to reply, to stand my ground, and to even say I may leave if this continues. NO one did anything to redirect the talk. They let her loose. In fact one had said she was waiting for the other to arrive to "hash it out" with us. The one supposedly hashing it out is the one who verbally went at me. My coworker implied that i wasn't doing my job, that i am being difficult now, and whats wrong with you attitude. No reasoning was taking place. After the meeting, I went to our acting supervisor who informed me of my options: HR or my supervisor. Supervisor has stuck up for her in past. So, its not a reasonable option in my eyes. I have written everything down and plan to go to HR with the problem as well as proposal on how to deal with it: apology from co-worker to me in front of the same group, discussion on how it is not apporpriate or professional to treat employees that way, and I am going to let them know I won't tolerate this from co-workers or my boss. Any advise when approaching HR?
| Reply from: |
goodboss |
| Date: |
7/22/2007 3:28:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Don't tell HR what to do. (No one likes to be told what to do, and people will always become recalcitrant if they think they're being ordered around.) In other words, don't say things like "You have to make her apologise to me, in front of my coworkers." Instead, tell HR what happened, as factually and calmly as possible, and then tell HR how this has made you feel. Then ask HR for help and guidance on what can be done to make things better. By asking for help (rather than ordering the help), you'll get a 'way better and more positive response. Good luck, and let us know how things turn out. |
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| Reply from: |
40Hourstogo |
| Date: |
7/28/2007 1:18:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I agree with goodboss. Make sure you keep your cool when talking to HR. Laying out the facts and asking for HRs guidance will be the best route to take. At the very least, this incident will be in the verbal abusers file for future reference. Good luck to you. |
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| Reply from: |
HRmgr |
| Date: |
8/3/2007 10:11:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Goodboss is absoluaately correct do not go to HR with a list of corrective actions ie demands. Go into the HR stating that you are having an issue with a hostile work environment. A good HR Mgr will not allow that to continue. Explain the incident above as the "straw" that broken the camel's back. The apology thing is a bit kindergardenish showing that you may hold a grudge which would disrupt the other workflow; hence you would be adding to the workplace hostility. |
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| Reply from: |
DeskMove |
| Date: |
8/8/2007 2:27:00 PM |
| Reply: |
See an employment atty before HR. This way you both can review policies given to you regarding work place harrassment and such then you will have a written and advised copy to advance to HR. It is frustrating. I found my employment atty helped me get perspective and stick to facts when I was very emotional about a similar situation. The consult I had in Oklahoma was free. The person involved eventually quit but I was legally protected no matter what he did or said. |
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| Reply from: |
goodboss |
| Date: |
8/9/2007 7:39:00 AM |
| Reply: |
DeskMove: Nothing in HelenM's post indicates that she was illegally harassed. Harassment is only illegal if it is based specifically on the harassed individual's race, gender, age, religion, or disablity. Any reputable attorney will tell HelenM that, and so bringing HR a note from the attorney stating that HelenM was not illegally harassed would make HelenM look downright stupid - and would probably annoy HR no end (and which would probably seriously limit HR's willingness to help HelenM with her workplace conflict). |
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