How to work effectively with a difficult boss

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    Your Rights at the Work Place: The Things Your Boss Won't Tell You


    Nasty People


    Coping With Difficult Bosses

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    rude, arrogant and obnoxious boss.

    Posted by: doris_89
    Date: 8/18/2007 11:15:43 AM

    I'm a soldier in the territorial army. I've been in for just under a year now. A few months ago my department boss retired so we got a new guy in to replace him. and for some reason its like this guy has taken an instant dislike to me, im not sure if its because i'm female, doing what is considered a mans job or whether its because of my age,who knows. anyway its like every time i cross paths with him he tries to down grade me in front of my colleagues, by making sexist and derogatory remarks. i have been told this is his form of banter, but its all one sided, i cannot say anything in return because for one he's an officer and two he's my boss. i try to avoid him best i can because he never has anything productive to say to me, he either criticizes my appearance or belittles me in front of my supervisors and i don't know why. i don't want to file a complaint because i hate making a big fuss and to others it may not seem like a big deal. i just need a way of dealing with his comments in my own way. any ideas?

    Reply from: goodboss
    Date: 8/20/2007 8:03:00 PM
    Reply: Does he act like this with your, er, co-soldiers? Even if he acts this way with just some of them, it means he's not singling you out, he's just being a jerk, and there's probably not much you can do to change his behaviour. Cozy up to the, er, co-soldiers that he treats the same as you and vent your frustrations together in private. (No pun intended!) If, however, you're the only one he treats this way, try to find out why. First ask your, er, co-soldiers what they think, and if you don't get any satisfactory answers from them, try approaching him. Before you do, document a few of the obnoxious comments (including dates and times), and ask him for a private meeting. In the meeting, calmly and rationally tell him about your examples and ask him if there's anything you can do to change his attitude towards you. If he reacts with hostility, I recommend you back off immediately - someone who reacts this way to a calm and rational issue presentation is just gonna become worse if the issue stays on the table. If you've had to back off, I recommend you then start looking for a transfer.

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