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    Boss out of control

    Posted by: srbb2
    Date: 8/26/2007 8:35:06 PM

    Hi everyone, I thank you in advance for any advice or feedback.

    I work for a doctor and have worked for him for 4 years. He's a good guy, but lately he has been acting strangely and to be perfectly honest, I am unhappy at work. It is a small psychiatry office, was just the two of us for a while, then I convinced him to hire a friend of mine (she recently divorced, has two kids, and needed some money). So everything was fine until she started divulging things to me that make me uncomfortable. He has made sexual comments to her and taken her out to lunch, he follows her around and praises her every move, while treating me with less and less respect.

    Do I have any right to ask him about his behavior towards her? It's a small office and it's becoming quite uncomfortable for me. He is a married man with a grown son, and the things I've been hearing about him just don't sound like him at all. Meanwhile she has become less and less of a friend to me. I want to say something to him but I am afraid he will get angry because it's not my business. But I feel like if I don't say something I will explode. Should I or not?

    Reply from: goodboss
    Date: 8/27/2007 4:05:00 PM
    Reply: While you have the legal right to say anything you want to your boss, talking to him about his relationship with your friend would be inappropriate. If your friend is uncomfortable with the things he's saying to her, it's up to her to talk to him about it. (However, given your comment that she has "become less and less of a friend" to you, and that she is going out to lunch with this man, I suspect that she doesn't mind his sexual remarks at all, and perhaps even welcomes them.) It sounds to me that it's not so much what your boss is doing that makes you uncomfortable, but rather that your friend is telling you about it. If that's the case, you are certainly within your rights - and the bounds of appropriateness - to ask your friend to stop talking to you about her relationship with your boss. Finally, if you feel your boss is treating you poorly and/or with less respect than usual, you may certainly talk to him about that. But stick to his treatment of you, and avoid any references to his relationship with your friend.

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