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You Want Me to Do What?: When, Where, and How to Draw the Line at Work
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Is The Boss Crazy or Is It Me
Posted by: unlucky7
Date: 1/11/2008 1:53:07 PM
Hum. This is more or less the story of my 8-10 yr paralegal career Job#1 job.- sole practitioner attorney office. 1st 14 mo. no problem.even sml raise. Then, newby, young punk attorney enters and he "bullys" me out of my job, 6 mo later. Big boss, he favors the men, not me the female. Job#2 - sml firm. Now I really have the "crazy" boss. the psycho. 3 mo later, I am a nervouse wreck. Luckly, former female employee calls me, tells me "its not me, its the boss, you are in a bad place" and gets me hooked up with legal temp assignments. Fast forward 16mo later: Job #3- fly to Miami (live in DE) for job interview. Attorney been nice on phone for 3 interviews. Go there, get hired and move. Boss personality changes to Mr. Dictator. Then he trys starting arguments with me at end of day. I know my days are numbered, stay cool and - He has me out of there in 10 days, yes, fired. Job#4 - Hired in med. size firm- by nice-personality happy female attorney. 1st day of work, find out additionally working for another female attorney as well, who hates me on 1st meeting and finally gets me out the door, aftr scolding me ev week for nothing, I stay cool, then she does the "set-up" and I am fired in 30 days. Job#4 - Hired by co, in legal dept. There for 6 mo. Got mixed messages constantly from bosses. Was enrolled in health benefits, got $1,200 x-mas bonus then out the door in January with 1 mo severence. Job#5 - Hired in legal for new co. No problem with my boss. Co. unable to make payroll, and I am out of there 6 mo later and I have to sue them for backwages and win. Job #5 - Hired by national Plumbing co., satellite office. (Admin pos, 40K) But, the man I am working for starts making sexual advances ev week, won't stop, and I am out the door in 6 weeks. Job#6 - (9 mo later and living at home w/parents) Hired by sml law firm, worked for 2 bosses. One attorney is fine. The other is mental, crazy, flies off the handle easily for nothing. And has "unrealistic" expectations - gee, and is unreasonable. By mo 5, I am a nervous wreck due to this crazy boss, (still have no prob. with other boss, they are the partners) 6 mo later, I am out the door with 3 weeks xtra pay. Good thing, in terms of my health. but bad for my financial. Job #7 - Hired by sml firm. Getting along w/ boss. Then, into 3rd mo, get the news that my boss is leaving for better offer, and my position will be eliminated. He gave me letter of recommendation. Never got back on my feet after that. I had no job performance issues. and more important, my boss knows I know what I am doing- Our work is reviewed big time in the beginning for any mistakes. SO- what happened - Is It me or the many bad bosses in a row.? Welcome all comments, advice thoughts, questions.
| Reply from: |
matildagsd |
| Date: |
1/16/2008 10:57:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Its a combination of things, unlucky 7. Who you are, your choice in jobs, and the people working there. I've heard similar stories from others; most of us who have worked in a variety of places have experienced all kinds of bosses. AS Andy Rooney once wrote so adroitly about a new boss: "I've had more years of being bossed than he has bossing".
Its unfortunate that so many bosses are less than ideal. But what you make of your experience is your business - noone can take that away from you. It may be a door of opportunnity for you to start your own business, go back to school, starting pushing anti-bully campaigns, anything. I was ferociously bullied at my last job and while nothing is perfect in my new job, it's such a relief to be away from the mob-scene that I am happy for what does go right in my new place. Nothing stays the same, even if you have to put up with emotionally immature bosses. See yourself as the survivor that you are in this nutty scene we call the workplace. Since you have to work to earn a living, make up your mind that you will adapt, no matter what, At some point, you are going to command respect, if just for the fact that you've seen and heard it all and are no longer so apt to react to someone pushing your buttons. In the face of real inner strength and a sense of humor, even the bullies tend to subside. |
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| Reply from: |
unlucky7 |
| Date: |
1/28/2008 4:52:00 PM |
| Reply: |
THANK you "matildagsd". Very thought out reply. I agree with everthing you
have said. Who I am, how one reacts to people pushing your buttons, and making up your mind to adapt. Excellent points. FOR me, the "thing" that derailed me the most - was my JOB#2. his direct "crazyness" had a major impact on me in the following way: In the 3 mo. I was there, he kept pushing me for more work - unrealistically so- When your boss finally says - after you have given the response "I's doing my best" (I knew how to do the work) and he says -"Your best isn't good enough" followed by "I see I am getting as much work out of her as I can" THEN, follows up with a written notice that he is reducing my wages to $10/hr- his attempt to make me quit. THat was the straw that broke the camel's back. From then on, when I experienced the same thing - I developed Anxiety when this arose again, or some other BS tactic. - BECAUSE - my past experience told me that I was about to be or could be fired. Yes - the expectations were unrealistic. I started each job - saying this is not the same place as Job#2. - But that experience had already messed me up - unknowingly. I agree with adapt and make up your mind, completely. Job# 6 was the perfect example of the Anxiety trigger.Boss constantly riding me for more work, due to unrealistic expectations. My Anxiety rose, even though I knew I was doing a good job - and I was shown the door. hAPPY PERSON TO an "Anxious" person - fearing she was going to be fired - due to the experience of JOB#2. Kindly jump in and comment again - your comments are good. Thank you. |
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