How do you deal with a boss (Head of H.R.) who does not encourage, validate, or motivate 1 of her employes but does so to the other 20 employees. I am the only bullied and put down by her and others I have been with this company for over 30 years.

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How do you deal with a boss (Head of H.R.) who does not encourage, validate, or motivate 1 of her employes but does so to the other 20 employees. I am the only bullied and put down by her and others I have been with this company for over 30 years.

Posted by: annabellwebb
Date: 2/8/2008 9:21:05 AM

I have been with the company for over 30 years but only 13 years in my current department and position. I have had only one P.A (Performance Apprisal)in those 13 years.

The person I am reporting to now has been my boss for a little less than 2 years.

This individual has not offered me any feed back re. her expectations of me. I am not offered educational assistance (not that I need it), no encouragement, no validation, nothing positive from this individual. The only time I am called into her office is to receive negative feedback.

I think it pains her to even say good morning to me, and many many times she just passes me like I am invisiable.

The funny thing is I do not know what I have done to receive this negative treatment; I have not had any negative feedback from her or anyone about my work and my attendance is good despite the fact I have a lot of health issues.

She does not treat her other employees this way I am the only one.

I am off right now because my blood pressure is very high. I am under the care of two specialist and on a lot of drugs.

Yet still I my blood pressure keeps spiking and it is all work related. One day I had to tell a co-worker in the office how my health was been affected due to their behaviour towards me and my director heard of it and I was called into to the office and told that I was using my health as a treat to her staff and I have to stop it. She also told me I had no commonsense and if I do not want to have stress I should be dead.

PS. I suffered a heart attack 5 years ago.

Now because of the lack of respect I get from my boss others are joining her in bulling me and berating me for no reason. I have no one to turn to I am non-union and I am working in the H.R. department.

I am really looking for a very experience labor lawyer someone that my company law firm will not be able to bully. My company retains one of the top 3 law firms in the country.

Please help.

Reply from:	goodboss
Date:	2/8/2008 10:47:00 AM
Reply:	Unless your boss is directing her negativity at you specifically because of your race, gender, religion and/or disability, then her behaviour is not illegal. There are no employment laws prohibiting bosses from behaving like bullies and jerks. (Being in HR, you should know this.) So hiring a labor attorney (assuming you could find one to take a non-case like this) wouldn't do anything for you except cost you money and alienate your boss from you even further. (And please note that because your boss isn't doing anything illegal, you aren't protected by anti-retaliation laws. This means that she could fire you for bringing an attorney into the picture - and this would be a legal termination.) That said, I recommend that you schedule some time with your boss, and when you sit down with her, express to her (calmly, rationally - bring notes if you think that'll help) your concerns that she has nothing positive to say about you or your work performance. Tell her this makes you uncomfortable and that you suspect your work performance suffers as a result. Ask her for a detailed list of things you need to do to make her think positively about you and your work performance. (And them do 'em!) Good luck, and let us know how this works out.

Reply from:	annabellwebb
Date:	2/8/2008 12:39:00 PM
Reply:	I will heed your recommendations but what about the negative consequences I am having health wise. I did not know bossess are allowed to behaviour like bullies and jerks. What I do know for sure is this if a unionized employee brings a complain as such to their union they are represented with vigor by their union rep. I am not unionized so who can I turn to if my boss who should know better does not respect me. Wondering out aloud.

Reply from:	goodboss
Date:	2/8/2008 6:14:00 PM
Reply:	The way you spell "behaviour" indicates to me that you may be Canadian (and not American as I'd originally assumed, because this is an American website). If you are Canadian, please let me know, and also please let me know what province you're in + your company's in. Your answers may change my legal opinions and advice somewhat.

Reply from:	4167567767
Date:	2/10/2008 2:43:00 PM
Reply:	A bully, jerk or pick is as such no matter where you were born or live. I live in Canada in the providence of Ontario, but I was born in one of the Southern States of America but left there as a very young person. I do not want to hang myself I want help so I will not give you my company's name. PS I have only related the tip of the my problems I am experiencing and living in Canada I know I have a case I just do not know who to turn to.

Reply from:	goodboss
Date:	2/11/2008 8:07:00 AM
Reply:	4167567767: You're right! The definition of "bully" and "jerk" (I'm sorry, I don't know what a "pick" is) is exactly the same no matter where in the world you are! However, in some parts of the world (like the US), being a bully and a jerk is perfectly legal. And in other parts of the world (like certain provinces in Canada), being a bully and a jerk is illegal. So if annabellwebb wants to sue her boss for being a bully and a jerk, and she's in the US...she can't. However, if she's in certain provinces in Canada, and her employer is provincially-regulated, she may be able to get the legal redress she seeks. But I can't help her with that unless she answers my questions. annabellwebb, please answer my questions and I'll give you some more, and possibly better, answers. (BTW, 4167567767, posting your phone number here was probably a real bad idea.)

Reply from:	moink
Date:	2/11/2008 2:40:00 PM
Reply:	Are you about the same age? Could SHE feel threatend by you because you have been with the company so long and "Know your material " better than she does? Have you honestly talked to another person that you feel confident with ,telling them how you feel? I had a female boss do the same to me and it was all due to the above.

Reply from:	sparkle
Date:	2/11/2008 8:22:00 PM
Reply:	Interesting. I'm in the same type of situation. Who do you go to when your boss is the problem and you work in HR?

Reply from:	goodboss
Date:	2/12/2008 7:36:00 AM
Reply:	Your boss's boss.

Reply from:	sparkle
Date:	2/13/2008 12:18:00 AM
Reply:	So, goodboss, in my case, it's the CEO of the company. Hmmmm, kinda like two birds of a feather...I guess I am doomed-lol. I'm looking for another job already as there just doesn't seem to be any alternatives. Thank you for your positive feedback. Wish I had a boss like you!

Reply from:	goodboss
Date:	2/13/2008 9:19:00 AM
Reply:	sparkle, maybe you don't have to be so drastic. How big is the HR department you're in? Is there someone else there who is either more senior than you or at least on the same level? Maybe you could have a confidential chat with this person, not to ask him/her to do something about your problem (because obviously he/she can't), but to get suggestions on what YOU might do about it. Or, if there isn't someone in your HR department you can talk to like this, maybe you could elaborate a bit more on your problem here. What is the nature of the problem? Is it exactly the same as annabellwebb's? Can you provide some examples of your boss's bad behaviour? Maybe we can help, if we knew a bit more about what's going on.

Reply from:	sparkle
Date:	2/13/2008 9:36:00 PM
Reply:	goodboss, thank you for your questions. My boss's bad behavior stems from a lack of empathy towards the people. She will tolerate sychopantic relationships only with her staff. I am not willing to give her my soul. End of story.

Reply from:	sparkle
Date:	2/13/2008 9:36:00 PM
Reply:	goodboss, thank you for your questions. My boss's bad behavior stems from a lack of empathy towards the people. She will tolerate sychopantic relationships only with her staff. I am not willing to give her my soul. End of story.

Reply from:	wundurful
Date:	2/25/2008 10:00:00 PM
Reply:	what do you do when your are rated an exceeds expectation consistently on your performance appraisals and your boss calls you in for what is a meeting that they scheduled as 2006 Performance Appraisal and hand you the resume of the person they are hiring over you? They don't do your performance appraisal until 3 weeks later and it is again an exceeds expectations but they then begin a campaign of giving you a hard time by promising promotions and special favors to people who were reporting to you if they will speak against you and than they refuse a company benefit of tuition reimbursement that they are giving to others in their area? I think this is bully but what can I do? I also work in HR this is a VP and we are in a company right now that is falling apart financially because they permit leadership to behave like this. I can't go to employee relations because all employees describe that dept as a joke.

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How do you deal with a boss (Head of H.R.) who does not encourage, validate, or motivate 1 of her employes but does so to the other 20 employees. I am the only bullied and put down by her and others I have been with this company for over 30 years.

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