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Sexual Gestures at Work
Posted by: gary
Date: 2/26/2005 11:36:21 PM
Here is the situation. My boss has made several sexual gestures to me in private. He also brings up sexual things in conversation- not only to me in private but to me and a female coworker on several occassions. Even when we changed the subject he brings it back to something sexual like "where is the weirdest place you've ever had sex?" He seems to get obsessed with it sometimes. We thought it strange and immature but now worry that it has a much more ominus meaning. What really can we do?
| Reply from: |
bbennett |
| Date: |
2/28/2005 3:52:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Do you have a chain of command? An HR department?
If his behaviour is making an uncomfortable working environment, you must bring it up to somebody.
This type of behaviour is unacceptable. An HR department should have all of the resources and training to deal professionally with your situation.
A word to the wise though...Be prepared for it to possibly escalate beyond your control. Be prepared for an investigation and for your boss to be told about it. I don't say this to frighten you, but more to prepare you.
If you are in a small business without an HR department, your choices narrow. You will be forced to either talk about it to him outright, or take it to his superior. (In either of these choices, expect the worst. Go into it expecting that you will be seen as a "problem.")
In any case, you must deal with it. The very act of you writing this post shows the mental effects of this type of harassment.
Another tip, start to keep a journal or a log on the specific instances that make you uncomfortable...When, Where, What Time, What was said, etc.
Remember, this type of behaviour does't have to have a more "ominous" meaning to be wrong in the workplace.
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| Reply from: |
tinydancer |
| Date: |
2/28/2005 9:50:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Thank you for the support. I feel trapped- knowing that it will most likely as you say escalate and that I will be seen as a problem. So far my friend and I have just kept it to ourselves. We were told that HR would probably just make a case that we were in it together to make our boss look bad or something. It's so discouraging because I used to like this job. |
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| Reply from: |
bbennett |
| Date: |
3/1/2005 10:15:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Please don't misunderstand me. I was saying be prepared to be seen as a problem only if you are in a small business that does not have an HR department.
A good HR Department will not make a case that "you are in it together." HR will come into it very impartial. Remember, they have to be fair to the accused as well. They will want to ask questions of both you and the accused.
You may feel, once things get going, that you are being seen as a problem, but really that is just your perception. You are being harassed and so you will be supersensitive.
Many victims of sexual harrassment often feel that investigations are more about them than about the accused. However, I can gaurantee you that the accused in an investigation of this type is not having a picnic either.
I hope things go well for you.
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| Reply from: |
liquid_moon |
| Date: |
3/16/2005 2:27:00 AM |
| Reply: |
turn him in dont tolerate it cause if he sees he can get away with it hell continue to do it to you and others after |
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| Reply from: |
willy |
| Date: |
3/22/2005 9:20:00 AM |
| Reply: |
A simple kick in the groin may work wonders here! |
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