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Being disrespectful?

Posted by: lashes808
Date: 4/19/2008 2:37:55 AM

The other day I had an older colleague indicate to me that I was being disrespectful to him because I wasn't respecting the fact that he was a senior person.

I was really taken aback by this because all I did was send an e-mail to him that outlined some problems I was facing, asked some clarifying questions and offered some solutions. I also indicated that I would be more than happy to review alternative solutions with him so we could figure something out. My e-mail was very to the point because I didn't want anything to be misinterpreted, but I really wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful.

I guess I upset him because he went above my head and pulled in my manager rather than even talking to me. Later I could tell he was upset so I asked to speak to him one on one later so I could explain myself.

That is when he expressed that he thought I had been disrespectful because I was questioning what he had asked me to do. He kept mentioning over and over again that I needed to respect the fact that he was a senior person and had senior in his title and that when he asks for something he has already addressed what needs to be addressed so I should just be moving forward.

I really don't think that I was disrespectful and the only reason I questioned anything was because other members of my team had brought up some points they saw as challenging. I was also trying to ensure we weren't wasting our efforts in doing a something that would be irrelevant in a few months.

Was I really out of line here? Is there some better way I should have approached things? Or is this more of a case of ego bruising? I almost felt like I was being disrespected after talking with them because I felt like he was saying "you need to do what I say and not ask any questions". If this were my boss I might feel less hesitant but this is a coworker. I guess I'm just wondering if I could have handled this better? Or if I did something wrong?

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