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Gray Matters : The Workplace Survival Guide

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You Want Me to Do What?: When, Where, and How to Draw the Line at Work

Working For a Boss Who Bullies

"I found myself thinking of that boss a few weeks ago, when underlings of John R. Bolton started appearing before Congress to say he should not be made ambassador to the United Nations because, in the words of one, he was a "serial abuser" of employees, "a kiss-up, kick-down sort of guy." What saddened me was that I was not surprised. I don't know anything about this particular man, but I do know that bullying bosses are generally allowed to move up the rungs of power, their temper tantrums mistaken for a leadership style."

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Comments: [add a comment]

User: anonymous
Date: 7/28/2005 6:14:00 PM

HI! JUST A FEW LINES TO SAY THAT, I HAVE A BOSS THAT IS SO HARD TO GET ALONG WITH. SHE SHOWS FAVORITISM TO SOME EMPLOYEES AND IS HATEFUL TO OTHERS- ME INCLUDED. SHE SAYS THAT IF I (WE) DONT CLEAN , SHE IS GOING TO TERMINATE US. SHE IS ALSO AN ALCOHOLIC.

User: anonymous
Date: 8/5/2005 11:08:00 AM

Certain work places have zero tolerance for staff with drinking/substance abuse probelms. Check out your area and see what the stand is. When you can prove to upper management that your boss is abusing alcohol, they might terminate her instead.

User: anonymous
Date: 8/12/2005 10:04:00 PM

We have an Uncivil Serpent that is inept, insecure, and a sociopath. She delays projects, always believes she is right (she is a worthless pos), and is biased and preferential toward those who are meek and willing to do the wrong thing to avoid her wrath. She creates a hostile workplace, interferes with productivity, and wastes money as a result of gross mismanagement. She really needs to be fired but in government that is nearly impossible. The sad thing is that so many people would be delighted if she died. So tragic that a person can be so vile to so many for so long and not be held accountable!

User: anonymous
Date: 8/23/2005 7:26:00 AM

My boss is the same. She also shows favouritism to some employees and not others. She also does not lead by example, choosing instead to start at 9.30 in the morning and leave at 4.00 whilst she expects her employees to do a full days work and if they don't - dire consequences emerge. My boss also studies a lot during working hours - sometimes up to hours at a time in one day and then loudly asserts how busy she is. Everyone in the company (including other managers) can see how incompetent this person is but since she has a longstanding personal relationship with the top boss, nothing will be done. So alas, the company will suffer and continues to suffer from poor morale, plummeting productivity and high turnover.

User: anonymous
Date: 9/12/2005 11:05:00 PM

I work for a public school district and my boss gives us various assignments. After the assignments are completed, my boss will claim that you did it all wrong, even when you actually did exactly what she told you to do. My boss comes in late everyday; takes one hour for breakfast, another hour for lunch, and then an hour break in the afternoon. Then, she leaves around 3pm to go shopping with family members. She never puts any of this time on her time sheets. Therefore she is cheating the taxpayers; those that pay her salary. My boss is also controlling. We have no freedom to be our own individuals. We MUST run everything we do by her first; get her permission like we are children. She doesn't give us the freedom to make our own mistakes because we have to run everything by her, which I feel prevents me from learning my job. How can I learn if I do not make mistakes?

User: anonymous
Date: 9/21/2005 9:54:00 AM

My ex-boss was the devil incarnate. She would lie about how things happened but the HR department and her boss would back her up anyway. I am so glad not to be working for Cruella any longer! Good riddance to bad rubbish! My advise is to chalk it up to (bad) experience and find a new job as soon as possible.

User: anonymous
Date: 9/23/2005 9:02:00 PM

My boss is Satan's Spawn. I was chewed out this week about not copying her on an simple e-mail asking for someone to find something for me. I sent another e-mail to someone else, after she reviewed it 3 times and butchered it, then she finds another error with it. Well couldn't she see it the first 3 times? Heaven forbid the kids get sick! She doesn't have any so she doesn't understand. We found out today (Fri) at 4:00 that they are closing the schools on Mon & Tues next wk and I was told in so many words that I better show up because I already had an unscheduled day off this wk. (Have a kid w/chicken pox.) There are many us that would party all day & night if she dropped off the face of the earth. I try to believe that it will get better and my day will come but I'll probably have a nervous breakdown before then. When someone else ticks her off, it's taken out on me. Today, my co-workers had to pretty much hold me down so I wouldn't go shooting my mouth off and get fired. Of course when her boss comes around she's a different person. I wonder how much money a hidden camera would be for my work area?

User: anonymous
Date: 9/25/2005 1:13:00 AM

User: anonymous
Date: 10/1/2005 6:28:00 PM

I have a male boss who is in his 60's, he constantly changes rulings without advising me and then chews me out publicly for not following the ruling. At management meetings he constantly singles me out for some imagined misdemeanor. At one meeting he went into a complete tantrum - red in the face, teeth grinding and screaming because I responded to a comment from one of the team. When I challenged him by asking him if it was intention to harrass me, he lost it completely and accused me of throwing a tantrum. Everyone at the meeting was stunned, and offered many supportive comments after the meeting. I now take tanquilizers before facing meetings. This Mad Max is also loading on the work and responsibilities so that I find myself working 7 days a week to get through it all. When I have in the past tried to draw his attention to my workload he responds with comments like "You don't work smart!" or "Your just a complainer." I have often felt that the other members of the management team have kept quiet during meetings incase the heat is turned in their direction. Unfortunately the staff are all female and the boss is the only rooster. The women run around treating him like a lord and master - I on the other hand do not seek favour and just get on with doing my job, and making my students my priority. I think he resents me for not giving him, what he deems to be, due attention and spoiling. I have thought of sneaking a tape recorder into meetings but what is there is little point as there is no legislation against such people, and the university where I work call this "management style"!!! and think highly of him.

User: anonymous
Date: 10/6/2005 2:15:00 PM

I work in an office full of men. I do not get the same attention or consideration as the others do. I am also grossly undercompensated for the amount of work I do. I was hired as a receptionist but I am doing accounts payable, shipping, filing, correspondence, making up(pasting up new coversheets, and binding etc) manuals for equipment we sellall for a whopping $13.00/hour. I was doing less work at another institution for $20.00/hour with half the stress. Our shipper/receiver makes twice the salary I do and I am doing half of his work.

User: anonymous
Date: 10/22/2005 3:44:00 PM

I work for company in Danvers,Ma.it's the vascular division of a major medical manufacturing co. We have many bosses.Our production supervisors have a tendency to hold people back from advancement for their own personal reasons.We have some very talented workers that have been with our company for a long time and would like to move forward and apply their talents in other areas within the company.I have to repeat myself and tell you that some of these workers are stellar performers.They are skilled and committed to their job and there is no reason that they should not be allowed to advance in the work place.Now!,because we work on a manufacturing production floor that measures its success with numbers and everybody knows that big numbers make supervisors look good in the eyes of upper management and that,is one of the reasons why these good workers cannot advance,even when they post for jobs that they qualify 100%.The other reason that many employees do not advance is that our supervisors have a certain fondness for Hispanic women these are the people who are advancing from our production floor.Hey!,The supervisors are all men and this is what they like,they harbor them and protect them.These women got it made even if if they're lazy and stupid.The supervisors protect them and if a supervisor knows in advance that he will be moved to another area,he will make sure that he moves his favorites there first.We've all seen it,it's obvious and where is,HR on these issues?,they're right behind the supervisors.Our HR department is a insult for the production people in our company.

User: anonymous
Date: 10/31/2005 2:45:00 PM

In this moment I just want to quit. I am tired of his unprofessional self. He curses all the time. I don’t mean a little, I mean a LOT. Every other word is f***, p***y, D***, and I am so sick and tired of it. This is a pretty big company, but our branch is fairly new, as well as him; he is new to the company (1.5 yrs). What do I do? I don’t want to talk to him, because he doesn’t like employees to talk or to raise their opinions. He is the macho type, who thinks that he is the boss and therefore he can do what he wants to do. If I say something, I am sure that he will hate me and try everything to get rid of me. And I wouldn’t be surprised. The lady that held my position, was here for six months and got fired. I took over her position and it doesn’t seem like she wasn’t doing her job. BUT, per him, she drank decaffeinated coffee, had hot flashes, ect and so he got rid of her. Beside that, the branch has 13 employees, and has been opened for about a year, and he fired 7 people already. Recent employee he fired, he mentioned he gave him a one write up and no verbal warning and a guy got fired. I am so sick of this place…My entire life is miserable because of this job!

User: anonymous
Date: 3/18/2006 5:41:00 PM

I've got one! One girl/women (she’s 47) does have lots of issues (poor me: I'm ugly, fat, over 45, never married, and sees a therapist because of sexual abuse) so I need to dislike you because you have a loving husband, good son, dogs, a cat, and a house with a white picket fence. Any other person with these problems I would be sympathetic to, but I have seen this girl be mean, unprofessional, and rude. I have been on that receiving side for at least 3 years now. Yet, the boss shows favoritism with her. So much so that it's okay when I am left out on departmental lunches and discussions. I have busted my behind, stayed late to finish on work before going on vacation. I try not to bother him with little remarks and small bull @! talk. Yet I'm always treated as if they would love to see me quit. I've been with the company for 13 years, I get 4-weeks a year in vacation, my husband tells me there are people like this no matter where you go, and I get $2k a year for school. If I could walk a way I would, but there are not a lot of jobs where I live with my salary with a 2-year degree in accounting. Maybe I'm stubborn. But I will not go without a fight.

User: olanna
Date: 11/29/2006 2:46:00 AM

I am dealing with a senior bully and a bully in training. It's strange to me, as in all the years I have been in the IT field, I've never had to deal too long with anything quite like this. I get a project and work hard on it and then bully in training pulls me away..I get busy with something else and bully in training takes my project and completes it. I get reamed for dropping the ball and he gets the glory for completing my project. I have been to HR over this many times. Actually had bully in training removed as my Operational manager for a few months because he verbally attacked me. I wish I could leave. Hard to find a job that pays what this one does and gives 4 weeks off for vacation. Life is totally starting to SUCK because of this job.

User: lordbaltimore
Date: 11/14/2009 1:38:00 AM

I can relate to these messages. It does go on in most places but not everywhere. Lots of spiritual warfare on the job. Maybe it's not coincidence that job and Job are both spelled J-O-B

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