How to work effectively with a difficult boss


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    Key Books

    Coping With Difficult Bosses

    Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up

    Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You

    Work Abuse: How to Recognize and Survive It

    Reviewer/Reader Feedback: "Work abuse is the dehumanizing of people through patterned ways of interacting at work. This includes systematic denial that the abuse is happening, as most abusive managers consider such poisonous treatment to be 'the way the world works.' Work abuse can affect a whole organization, or it can be focused on one individual scapegoat. What's worse, our society as a whole tends to reinforce this attitude, placing the blame on the traumatized victim. When the abuse cannot be redressed at work, it often reappears at home as addiction or family violence. Intended for individual workers and their families, therapists who help them, and managers and union leaders responsible for work systems, this book explains how and why work abuse happens and offers a practical plan for healing, including in-depth case studies, exercises, and worksheets to guide the reader."

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    Comments: [add a comment]

    User: anonymous
    Date: 9/25/2005 5:06:00 AM

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/21/2005 8:38:00 PM

    Help! I have a bad boss.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 4/26/2006 7:44:00 PM

    I have a boss in front of all the staff, shows he is a grewat person, but there is one things, seems to be is to pick on me: for some clothes that I wear, saying that clients say I talk to much about my children(which my cients start the conversation, since I have their pictues, even though I showed his the meds for depression. It's as wow I have some thing to get ride of her. Even though I was the performance, with all are area and doubled my goals. I do like confrontation, now Labor Board and I feel I want to show that he is the problem and his queen and princess, which they kiss his ass, I won't I stay in my office and still he finds ways to get to me. your not organized enough, when I was off sick, him and a co-worker went through my whole file. When I cam back I needed to discusse with one then the other. I have over 35 yrs of exp. I want his head also on a platter.It's degrading

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/13/2006 9:39:00 PM


    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/8/2007 6:32:00 PM

    I am in need of a good Lawyer to help me with my case here in Michigan. Macomb area. Please Pray and then write me if you can help.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/16/2007 1:05:00 PM

    Where I work (it's a roadside assistance company) we do 9 hour shifts. Our supervisors sometimes don't let us take lunch off even though we are suppose to. Also they changed our schedules without telling us causing a bunch of people to miss work on Sunday because we weren't informed we were suppose to work that day. Then they blamed us and made us make up for Sunday on one of our off days. If we need help with supervisors make a big deal about how they don't want to help and sometimes they don't know the answer. Then they changed the time we work without telling us either, so we were coming in at the wrong time. This company is very disorganized, it's pathetic.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 3/10/2007 12:37:00 PM

    This abuse has been going on for awhile, but now that my current boss is retiring he can no longer intervine for me. She was his right hand person and is taking over his position, and she hates me. I don't know why, she mocks my long commute to work because I moved. She critizes my cothes, she give me dirty looks, slams her office door to make sure I do not listen. I am mentally being abused not only by her, but by the co-workers in her section. She instructs her group not to associate or include me in group event they are having. There actions make me feel unwanted. I now have to be her secretary. This abusiveness has made me ill. I have broken out all over my face, and now I am unable to sleep at night. I feel like killing myself. I need advise to deal with this matter, please help me.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/15/2007 1:53:00 PM

    I work at a university and my boss is a dean of one of the colleges I work in. He thinks only women with degrees have brains and all women should be attractive otherwise their not worth his time. I have a certificate and am somewhat attractive but would much rather be homely than to have him gaucking at me. He has been employed by the campus for 1 1/2 years and I 18 years. How do you deal with someone like that?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/16/2007 4:14:00 AM

    im the type of worker thats always there for the team,unless im sick,i work long hours,sometimes 7 days aweek and in this same weeks double shifts. when i took the job i was told the hourly wage was 6.00$,all of the sudden i see in my paycheck its 4.50$,when i ask the manager about it ,he said the pay is being always 4.50,and human resources wont change it. i was also told i'll be getting a 40 $ tip everynight,tonight i was told im not getting that this legal?so now i work for 34.00$ a night. im in florida,i feel i am too googd for this place now.any help?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 9/27/2007 10:39:00 PM

    One of my co-worker always verbal abusing me. If I am using a lab computer when he needed, he will tell me to get out so he can use it. He will bad mouse me whenever he has chance. I have been work there for more than 8 years, get alone with all co-worker. I am not sure why he is so hostile to me(actually he is hostile to all workerbees). and he kisses up to managers.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/11/2007 2:46:00 AM

    I direct delivery drivers at work. One driver I know does personal errands while on the clock while on deliveries. Takes longer to get back from deliveries. Not fair to other drivers and causes contention among the other drivers who are conscientious about their job. Employees can be abusive to their employers also.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/15/2008 11:18:00 PM

    When did the work place become a battleground? Whatever happened to an honest days wage for an honest days work? Has anybody ever had a boss that wasn't a pathological lier and sociopath? What can be done to make life not so miserable?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/20/2008 9:11:00 AM

    ..Is there any legal help for the abused person at work?I have hung in there as long as I can, but my health & life have been affected? I am 61 years old, worked all my life, but went to another city for "a better job" work because of downsizing and shut downs.My last employer and my present employer have changed so many policies that I don't have a reasonable retirement plan and now I have to work until I'm 66, even though I started working when I was 17.I am tired and have dealt with this current abuse fo 9 years and it's going to kill me. Nothing has worked to s9olve this, it just gets worse, and I just want out of there now and stay home (not my original plan, I am not lazy). I feel my life has been destroyed. This shouldn't be happening in America. I may need hypnosis to remember everything, but I need a good attorney who understands and willing to help.Does anyone know anyone?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/20/2008 10:46:00 AM

    Please delete above comment, did not obseve the statement below. thanks

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/26/2008 2:38:00 PM

    What would you call this. I am a night custodian at a junior high and there are two of us. my partner calls off all the time now i am being told that i am to clean the entire school by myself when he is absent. something that takes two people to me

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/26/2008 4:46:00 PM

    what do i do if someone is igroring me at work and the residents can tell what is going on they ask me why is she doing that to you she reported an inccident at work last week and told everyone the day after she did not speek to me the day after and has not done so since then and when she does open her mouth she says my name like she has shit on her tonge she walks pass me and takes no notice like i wasn t there what so ever and it feels like the other girls are grouping up in one she can tell some lies from that tonge of hers i really feel like leaving handing in my notiec i ve applied for another jobs what am i surpose to do i really want to report her and teel my manager what she is doing please someone help

    User: anonymous
    Date: 3/13/2008 7:00:00 PM

    Hi everyone, for all of you who are suffering at bad jobs, I can tell you that it's not worth staying there. I suffered work abuse for 1 1/2 months, after heavy criticisms, finally one of my friends encouraged me to leave. The emotional damage may take me years to overcome. I only regret not leaving the job sooner. For all of you in bad jobs, just leave. You can always get some other job for a while, long enough to get a reference. LEAVE NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. It is really hard to overcome the abuse (I'm still struggling to do any work now). I can hardly think of getting another job, there is nothing you can do to change those places you have to GET OUT!!!!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/22/2008 7:48:00 AM

    I have been with this company for over 8 years. I have always been told that I do a wonderful job, and am a great asset to this company. I have known my manager since I was a young girl. Now everything has changed. I am now her "whipping girl" and she is relentless. I have had a few meetings with her in hopes of resolving these issues and move forward for the benefit of our residents and she just can't do it. She has become a say one thing and do another kind of person. She twist my words, gives me dirty looks, corrects me infront of residents even though my information does not need to be corrected. She is a bully, very insecure with the face that she is getting older and has two young(30)employees under her that are very capable, personable and shine! It has always been a "open" place to have a conversation and we use to be able to move forward. It is no longer that way, she has become secretive, nasty, sarcastic, and repeats information that is not true. She has left me feeling incapable of my position and that she no longer wants me here. It make me sad, and angry that I'm being pushed out because I am sticking up for myself and the only thing I want is to be treated with respect on a daily basis. Especially since it was just 4 months ago that I recieved a raise and was told that my work performance was great. However "being happy" tends to distract me!!!!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/15/2009 4:17:00 PM

    This has been going on for eons. It's not going to stop unless we have them all killed and make this world a better place to live in. Maybe you could make it look like an accident.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/19/2009 2:48:00 PM

    I would like to see this issue become a regular topic for discussion and problem solving on Dr. Phil.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/26/2009 6:20:00 PM

    Everybody can say "Just Leave". But what if you have a pension and two years away from retiring? Sure, make it legal. You can't do anything to protect yourself when you work in law enforcement. When you are on the bottom you get kicked. The bosses stick together. If you complain to agencies, you just make it harder at work.The choice is simple, learn to let it roll off. It's harder than it seems. Adult bullies are everywhere.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/30/2009 11:04:00 AM


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