How to work effectively with a difficult boss


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    Key Books

    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative People

    You Don't Have to Take It!: A Woman's Guide to Confronting Emotional Abuse at Work

    The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

    What to do about a really bad boss

    "Targeted workers should identify the problem, seek help from a doctor or counselor and, finally, expose the bully."

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    Comments: [add a comment]

    User: anonymous
    Date: 7/31/2005 2:10:00 AM

    how can i make the boss not to be favourism

    User: anonymous
    Date: 8/23/2005 6:06:00 PM

    You can't. There will always be 'favorites'. Ignore your boss as much as possible, and always take extended lunch breaks.

    User: snip05
    Date: 9/22/2005 5:39:00 PM

    How can I make a corporation clean the mould out of their HVAC system professionally?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 9/23/2005 8:45:00 AM

    To the question about favism. If you truly feel this is happening 1st talk to your boss letting her/him know you feel this way if you get no satisfaction go to their boss etc. but don't make matters worse by being a bad employee as sugjested above

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/15/2005 1:17:00 AM

    "Favourism"? I guess between the spelling and the grammar, I'm wondering how you could complain about your boss. I have the boss from hell, but I'm concerned here about employees who maybe aren't as employable or good as they perceive themselves to be.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/6/2005 7:01:00 PM

    Favortism is sometimes a fact of life, I have experienced that problem myself I work with some one who was Bosses daughter till he retired now there is no favorite we're all treated equall by a very demanding boss!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/21/2005 1:22:00 PM

    Always hold your boss accountable! They are paid a salary and should be performing their jobs to satisfaction. If you cant go to your immediate boss for resolution go to their boss. everyone has to answer to someone. have all your ducks in order ahead of time. what ive noticed the less transparent a supervisor the more of a bully they can be. umm! I wonder what their hidding?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/5/2006 4:07:00 PM

    My boss plays favorites, makes policies and only informs 1/2 of the department, as a result the other half gets the left overs.(ie vacation time) Schedules her favorites to attend seminars when it is NOT their specific job, leaving the actual employee who's job it is without training. The big boss is oblivious to her. HELP! PLEASE

    User: anonymous
    Date: 4/5/2006 9:33:00 PM

    How do you get under from the boss from hell!!!!! I was the eighth person in the seat, within two years. She was a yelling and harrasing person. Every day I thought if she did not take her meds for her disorder the day was hell. She is too old and not with the program to be working. It took a lot out of me health wise and mentally as well. But now I have a position, and I am grealty appreciated.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/7/2006 8:48:00 PM

    The best thing to do with a difficult boss, especially one who shows favoritism towards others, is to treat him/her like a non-entity. I'm good at this. My boss has her favorites and I'm not one of them. I treat her like she doesn't even exist. I don't ask her anything over and above "How are you doing this morning?" That's it. If a problem or question comes up on my desk, I wing it. If it is something really difficult, I'll consult with many others and/or a dog on the street before I ask her ANYTHING.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/10/2006 7:05:00 PM

    learn how to arguge in federal court, and be your own attorney. for those of you who are eligible to file as indigent, it's even better. you don't have to pay anything. then, commence to wrecking that asshole...your employer, for life. drown them in motion after motion. besides, all you have is time. you lost your job, and you have not much if anything to lose. good luck :-) riddle: who is the clay in the rushing water, and who is the rushing water? donald w. wilson

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/23/2006 11:24:00 PM

    my boss never makes his words. He is used to send you email scheduling a fixed-time meeting, then he totally forgets. It takes a month for him to review st. which only needs several minutes. But if he wants you to do something he can just goes against the rules he set and gives you no time. He can make up nice lies to start you work on his plan, but when you meet difficulty in following his plan, he has no ability to support you but tell you to give up and start over again. He can tell you one thing one day and tell you to do it, and days later, he goes against himself and leave you stranded in the middle. What a shame to be such a boss! I have no respect for him.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/28/2006 1:49:00 AM

    My boss changes his mind more often than he changes his underwear (sometimes several times within 30 minutes) and conveniently 'forgets' that he originially made the earlier comments. When he is gone the bosses under him hide in the back offices and tell jokes and play with the office girls. I don't know what to do because I take my job seriously and I have counted on them to help me to no avail. My immediate boss is a pleaser and rides the fence. So no help there. I think I'm on my own.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/28/2006 1:50:00 AM

    My boss changes his mind more often than he changes his underwear (sometimes several times within 30 minutes) and conveniently 'forgets' that he originially made the earlier comments. When he is gone the bosses under him hide in the back offices and tell jokes and play with the office girls. I don't know what to do because I take my job seriously and I have counted on them to help me to no avail. My immediate boss is a pleaser and rides the fence. So no help there. I think I'm on my own.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/29/2006 2:35:00 PM

    my boss has no formal education about what they do, fired their own family member that got them into the job in the first place, cannot read the terms that are associated with the work,gets people they hate fired, talks about people constantly,put their work off on others, talks in circles and has the nerve to talk to other people like they are idiots but my boss is usually wrong. but the funny part is, that my boss' boss thinks my boss is god. but they are 2 peas in a pod.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/31/2006 5:48:00 AM

    I need help! I work in a office where my direct contact is the VP. He is a major bully, always screaming at people and changing his direction on a daily basis. I am at a point where I don't think I should have to take the abuse any longer, but I make good money and I don't want to leave the company. We have gone through 3 HR directors in the last 3 years...none have been willing to stand up to him even though they all knew his tactics. I have confronted him regarding this, and he calls it Grand Standing, according to him when he screams and yells, it is all tactical. I bought into that until he started screaming and yelling at me directly when nobody else was in his office. This guy must be stopped! But how?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 7/17/2006 11:26:00 PM

    My job problem was similiar to yours but with it physical threats were made also and I had to quit. All the employees feared the outbursts of rage he had because he openly praised his prior experience of shooting a man, and wasn't scared to do it again if he needed to. Even callers would sometimes be threatened with physical abuse.Now I can't get a job due to his badmouthing and I have lung disease for which I can no longer buy medicine for, so my life expectancy is really short.I had worked my job for 15 years and was considered valuable by former boss. The new boss was only there for 1 year when I had to leave.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 8/3/2006 7:53:00 PM

    I have a boss that is heavily into favortism, which includes listening to his "favorites" when they complain about their co-workers. This often results in negative treatment of those co-workers. What can be done about him?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 8/20/2006 2:33:00 PM

    I have a boss who is constantly bad mouthing everyone behind their backs, including the senior executive. Most of these people i like and/or respect their work. I am wondering what he is saying behind my back. anonymous

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/1/2006 6:59:00 AM

    My boss is very insecure and requires that her direct-reports constantly place her on a pedestal. She has not liked me for many years and makes it very obvious by being overly friendly to my co-workers and excluding me. Unfortunately we all work in close proximity of each other and it is very obvious how she feels about me. My co-workers are out for themselves and kiss her feet to ensure they are on her "good" list. Until I can find another job without having to take a huge paycut, I treat her with dignity and am gracious, but beyond that, I stay as far away from her as I can. When she starts up with the laughing and whispering with my co-workers, I just get up and walk away from the area and get lost in the building until she goes back into her cage. There is no changing her, I can only change myself and stay clear of her.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/1/2006 9:28:00 PM

    The gal I work for means the majority of her day socializing to make sure she is viewed as "popular". So, in order to have so much free time, she gives all of her work to me to do!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/15/2006 3:31:00 AM


    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/6/2006 12:33:00 AM

    my boss is changing me from assignments evey time she can for no apparent reason talk to adminstration and he didn't find anything wrong ask to move me from working with a person who i file for harrasment don't know if he can help

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/20/2006 7:55:00 PM

    I have a abusive, arrogant boss who constantly calls multiple times a day and even at home and micromanages every decision and piece of paperwork. She got mad today because she was nagging again about everything needing a folder...when I said she should have a folder because I gave her the stuff several times. I know she is angry because she did not stop by when she said she would and she practically hung up on me. This has been building for some time now. She recently said to me about a letter I was drafting: it is not your signature they will respond's mine. She constantly puts down my accomplishments and suggestions and brags about her own. Help!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 3/13/2007 9:41:00 PM

    Is there anything that can be done about a manager who tries intimidation tactics (says things that others cannot hear, i.e. if I hit you in your face there's nothing you can do about it because of your religion; I suggest you look for another job; look like you want to work here; you don't look happy, maybe you should look for another job; how did YOU manage to make more money than...; you should smile when you walk down the aisle.) I've gone to HR in our company (large food organization) but because it's my word against his, my pleas for help have gone virtually unnoticed?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/7/2007 1:26:00 PM

    I exposed the bully, and it made things worse because she was keeping costs down by working salaried people 60+ hours a week, the counselors and MDs I saw told me to just quit (because it's so easy to find another job?), the EEOC and workers' comp. said I had insufficient evidence (despite hundreds of emails showing FMLA and ADA laws were broken) and I wound up not only more disabled than before (I have fibromyalgia), but with more irreversible conditions (cardiac, adrenal, thyroid) due to the stress. However, I had a string of bad bosses, as have lots of people I know, so I'm thinking that bad bosses are the rule rather than the exception. I wonder why this is.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 6/28/2007 2:21:00 PM

    I just spoke to my boss about her "favorite" causing problems and was told I was troublemaker. I want to go to HR and tell them all the confidential things she has repeated to me about the others and her overall boss ethics. First I must find another job.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 8/13/2007 4:51:00 PM

    If your boss has his/her favorites, make sure you work harder and make yourself indispensable. I have a boss who has his favorites and I am not one of them though I am technically brighter than them. I am planning to become an author, get myself certified so that it is more obvious who the better one is..

    User: anonymous
    Date: 10/31/2007 7:05:00 AM

    My boss is very insecure and has allowed the bully of our department to call the shots. This bully is also the favorite and allowed to bash other employees . . . and the worse part is that the ones who are bashed are called on the carpet by the boss and immediately guilty. If an employee tries to stand up for himself, he/she is labeled as argumentative and atroublemaker and told they have a bad attitude. The only way to avoid this mess is to Get Out of Dodge!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/28/2007 3:39:00 AM

    My boss refuses to discipline a colleague who has been repeatedly abusive toward other workers and clients. I have been labeled a trouble maker for calling bringing these issues to my boss's attention. He is my boss's "mentee" and my boss sees himself as his "father figure" I urged my boss to take corrective action against this bozo and during our discussion he started talking about how I should think about moving to a different part of the company. There is simply nothing I can do, I submitted my resignation today. My advice to others is not to waste you energy and find a different boss who appreciates your talents, you can't change people... do the best thing for yourself, resign with dignity, burn no bridges and move on!!!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/12/2007 1:57:00 PM

    im 18 i work in a clothing dept store ive been there for 9 months its my first job. Ive been labeled a hard worker by my fellow associates.and my boss will automatically say my name if something comes up and thinks im the cause for any trouble in the store.being at a clothing dept store i work with mostly females about 20 only 3 other males besides myself work there the boss is always treating the males with the worst jobs even one of the males are a manager and he is even taken advantage of. my boss shows up late, doesnt follow dress code, she even takes multiple breaks for shopping, sits on the phone with her husband for hours,then when she is actually on the floor stands around pointing her finger mostly at the guys and standing in groups with the other female associates discussing w/e comes to mind,most of all targets me because i stand up for myself towards her Bs she gives me the jobs that are usually handed to first weekers and not to mention i am senior to over half of the staff. PLz help me get some direction my work is an extremely stressful environment. if anyone knows anything all advice is welcome

    User: anonymous
    Date: 6/15/2008 10:35:00 AM

    i'm disabled and suddenly my ex boyfriend cooks up this amazing job where i hardly have to interact and i get paid 3x what the govt currently offers. i get promised healthcare and so of course i jump after my family sets up my contract to guard against any funny biz. well the boss decides not to pay me for 3 months and invites me to live with him. now i cannot qualify for the mediCal i used to get for another year, what an asshole? signed, stupid loser

    User: anonymous
    Date: 6/27/2008 9:18:00 AM

    Gee, after reading all the comments above, I realize I am not alone. for all of us who are in this situation, let's say a toast at sunset, wherever we are in the world, for the heart and souls of the working wounded warriors. Especially for those of us who are going through physical troubles, I am sending you a warm massage and cup of tea (alcohol is a nasty habit, dears). Let's do something this weekend, or next holiday to celebrate ourselves and each other, something worlds apart from the ignorance and abuses of the workplace insane. for me it is going to museum or simply laying on a beach , closing my eyes and hearing the sounds of gulls, children playing, and young groups of girls and boys gushing puppy love admiration. A cop friend told me long ago, that if you don't let them know that you actually care, for some reason they treat you better or leave you alone. Stay off their radar; they are only hunting people they can hold up like prey to their overfed bosses. Don't be the prey--stay out of their way. Or find another harrassed boss in the chain (there is always one they pick on) and be their friend. Plan to escape from this somehow, you know what to do! You just care too much about what they think; obviously they don't give a damn about you! Get a nice hair cut, put on a new outfit or dress; act as if you had the best sex last night and you are glowing! (forgive me,father Donovan) They can only take from you what you let them. And they "ain't" worth it. So, when the arseholes are pitching it high and wet in your direction, put on your umbrella and get out of the bullcrap.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 6/27/2008 9:25:00 AM

    By the way, for the person who works in retail, your boss has a problem with men, not that she necessarily hates them, but she probably had to fight everyone including her brothers at mealtime, to be recognized. Women like that tend to overidealize their husbands. If you like the job, be strong and think about the strong women who were kind or looked out for you. I empathize; I work in a female dominated place and now it is becoming male dominated. Regardless, I am learning that it is true that people are at their cores; like cats and dogs when it comes to what they want. Think of your co-workers as a particular cat or dog, when they talk to you, imagine that they are a movie talking animal, That should make you smile and get you through the day. By the way, how much is the markup on lady's midranged clothing?

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